“You have sought to break free of your father’s influence at every turn. Why should the life you lead with the woman you’ve married be any different?”
“Having children is the way things are done. It is one of the reasons I wanted to get married in the first place. In fact, I insisted on finding a bride within the year, so by the time I became a father, I would be mature enough to handle it and young enough to be able to face the challenges.”
“Life is not something that can be lived according to strict plans!” John retorted, this time some level of agitation breaking through his calm demeanor.
“Well, that’s how I live my life. If I do not plan it, things go awry. Much like my relationship with my wife. I tried to let myself enjoy my time, not trying to control everything, and look how it turned out.”
“You cannot throw away everything else that may have happened between you and your wife because you have had a single fight,” John scoffed.
“A single fight that is about one of the most important things in a marriage. And especially when one of the people in question is the Duke, John! Getting married and having children is the way that things are done!”
“For many, yes. But it does not have to be. You do not have to follow convention, after all.”
“You do not understand. All of this has been sprung upon me without a warning. How could she not have said that she had no interest in children?”
“To me, it sounds as though this has all been sprung uponherquite quickly. To expect her to suddenly be ready to have a child, when not that long ago, she was not even sure she would ever marry, it seems a lot.”
“It is what she should have been raised to expect,” Matthew argued.
John shook his head. “Perhaps. Most ladies of the ton are raised to understand that they will one day be wives and mothers. But it seems that Diana had long since stopped believing that. And to now expect her to be ready to become a mother…”
Still, Matthew was unsure what to think. If she had not intended to have children, she should have informed him of that before they wed. He would have been able to find someone else so that he could do what was expected of him. But now… now it was too late, was it not? And she had trapped him in a situation where he would not have children.
“Think of it this way, Matthew,” John continued, pulling him back into the present moment. “Would you rather be with Diana and live with the possibility of never having children? Or would you rather live without her?”
“I don’t want to lose her,” Matthew said without thinking.
John raised his eyebrows, leaning back in his chair and picking up his water glass. He raised it as if in a toast. “Then you need to resign yourself to the fact that you may never have children. And you need to go get your wife back.”
It was as if everything suddenly fell into place.
Diana was his wife. Diana was important. Children … well, other than the fact that it was expected of him when had he ever really thought of having children? When had he even cared?
No. What mattered was her. And who knew, at this moment, what she could be doing. He could have lost her forever already with his cruel and thoughtless words.
And for what?
Matthew jumped up suddenly, the chair wobbling as he did, and very nearly ran into Isabelle as she walked into the room.
“Oh! Matthew, I did not know that you were here. What brings you here so early?”
He did not have the patience or the time to speak with her, to try and explain to her what was going on. And he had no inclination to do so.
So he simply brushed past her and practically raced out of the room, leaving it to John to explain the particulars if he were so inclined.
The fact that John was laughing at his expense as he fled the house didn’t bother him as much as it normally would. All that mattered was getting back to his home as quickly as possible. And fixing everything with Diana, because he didn’t want to lose her. No matter what the tradeoff might be.
All this wasted time focusing on what his father would want. Focusing on heirs and expectations. When all he cared about was Diana. If the two of them were all the family that he ever had … well, that would be plenty enough for him.
As soon as he stepped into the townhouse, his valet was there to take his coat, but he did not care for any of that. Miss Jenkins had met him at the door as well, and he immediately turned toward her.
“Where is Diana?”
For once, the woman seemed at a loss for what to say, giving him a somewhat bewildered look as she handed over a sheet of paper.
He took it automatically, glancing down at the single folded sheet and recognizing the handwriting immediately. He had not received a great many letters from Diana, but he had seen enough to know that this was it. And that whatever it contained would not be good.
With a strength and patience he did not know he had, he took the letter with him to the study and sank into a chair before reading it.
