She heard her mother gasp and some whisper from Emily, but she was barely aware of them. All she had eyes for was Blake, standing before her utterly unrepentant.
“Why?” she asked angrily.
“Because none of them was worth another minute of your time.” Blake waved a dismissive hand. “They would not have been good for you.”
“How dare you? How dare you act as though you are the arbiter of what is good for me or what is not?” Jane asked. “You do not get to decide how I live my life.”
“I am not trying to tell you how to live your life, I—” Blake tried to say, but Jane spoke over him. “Well, it certainly feels that way.”
“If you would just let me explain?—”
Jane could see the frustration on his face.
“What possible explanation could you give? You spent weeks telling me I did not know myself, challenging me to just be who I am, and then…” Jane shook her head, betrayal tearing through her. “You are just like the rest of them. You think you know everything about me, that only you could possibly know what I want and need.”
“I am not like them. And I do not think I know you better than yourself,” Blake said softly. “But I know as well as you do that you would never be happy with any of those men.”
“And why is that?” Jane shook her head, hugging her arms tighter around herself.
Her blood pounded in her ears as she took half a step towards Blake. Her anger and hurt seemed to well up within her, mingling into fire that coursed through her body.
How can he do this to me? He does not want me, but he will not let me be with anyone else.
Blake took a step towards her, his voice thick with emotion. “Because they would make you smaller. I’ve been here for less than half an hour, and yet during that time, not one of them asked about you. Why, one of them literally ran as soon as I mentioned that you were good at archery!”
“Perhaps there is more to each of those men than a mere few minutes could reveal,” Jane retorted.
“You are hardly above snap judgments yourself. Do you really want to base your marriage on one?” Blake retorted.
“What other options are there? What you seem determined to not understand is that no one wantsme.” Jane felt the familiar pain, a lifetime of expectations and desperation to please others, but she pushed it down.I will not go back to that.“You assume that I would let them make me smaller, that I would lose myself. But I would not. I am not the same lost girl I was.”
She paused and let the truth of her words flow through her as she met Blake’s gaze. “I suppose that is something I can be thankful for. I know who I am and what I want.”
“And is a marriage with any of those men what you truly want? Is that what your heart desires above all else?” Blake asked.
I cannot have what I truly want, you have made that abundantly clear.
Jane bit her tongue, not trusting herself to say it aloud. She did not want to feel the sting of rejection again.
“You have no right to talk to me of marriage. To come here and stand in the way of my life. Of the things I want.”
I wanted you.
Jane felt tears prick her eyes, but she held them back.
“Tell me, right here and now, is all that you desire marriage? Just some contract between you and a man you do not know?” Blake moved closer to her, his eyes searching her face.
For a moment, she thought she saw uncertainty in his eyes, but she must have been mistaken.
“I am tired. I told you that this is what I intended to do, that after the wedding, my father would find me a match.”
You had your chance.
Jane gritted her teeth. “I do not want to wait.”
“Would you make such a decision before you have all the facts? I came here because I needed to talk to you.” Blake moved towards her, and for a moment, Jane thought he would touch her arm.
To her shame, she found that she wanted him to. An odd stab of disappointment lanced through her as he clenched and unclenched his hands instead.
