“Do you really think pity would drive me to propose? And what exactly is there to pity?” Blake frowned at her.
“I am some sad spinster, the utterly unmarriable daughter of one of the best matchmakers in the ton. So desperate to be wed that she asked her father to find her a match. Of course, you pity me,” Jane said, bitterness in her voice.
“I have never pitied you,” Blake told her.
“I do not believe you.” Jane looked at him, and he saw at that moment that she was afraid.
“I have felt many things about you, but pity has never been one of them.” Blake took her hand gently in his own, willing her to hear to truth in his words.
“It does not matter what you feel about me, it does not change things.” Jane withdrew her hand and lifted her chin, though the quiver in her voice was noticeable. “I will not force someone to be with me. I do not want you to be with me out of obligation. Your feelings, whatever they are, they change nothing between us.”
“That is not true,” Blake murmured, his heart hammering in his chest. “The way I feel about you is important, as is the way you feel about me. Our feelings could change everything.”
If you love me as I love you, that matters.
“How could it change things? You broke my heart, Blake.” Jane shook, her voice breaking with emotion. “I trusted you. I… I kissed you. Was it all just some game to you?”
“No. At first, I was drawn to you because I liked winding you up,” Blake explained. “I wanted to get a rise out of you, and I enjoyed how easy it was to do so.”
“How lucky for me.” Jane rolled her eyes.
“And then I was drawn to you because you areyou. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to be near you. Everything I learned about you was like some beautiful gift.” Blake shook his head in wonder, his mind running over so many of their moments together.
“You are just saying that—you do not mean it,” Jane murmured.
“You are the most fascinating person I have ever met. What other woman would know just as much about poetry as she does about fencing? What other woman has such a depth of knowledge and passion for the world around her?”
“Why are you saying this to me? I do not understand, are you trying to get me to kiss you again? Because I will not. I will not be made a fool of again, not by you.” Jane shook her head and took a step away from him.
“What will it take for you to believe me? You are utterly infuriating. You know that, do you not?” Blake ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “Why are you so determined to believe that no one could want you?”
“Because that is all anyone has shown me.” Jane looked at him, and he felt his heart break at the pain on her face. “All my life, I have been too much, and then for a few weeks, it felt like I could finally be myself. Like perhaps someone even liked me, cared about me. But I was wrong.”
“I do care about you. It breaks my heart to imagine you as anyone else,” Blake said. “I want you, Jane. No one else.”
“You mean you want me tokissyou. I do not wish to be some passing amusement.” Jane glowered at him. “You do not want me.”
“I never said you were any such thing.” Blake shook his head. “You are being frustrating on purpose!”
“I am not the one who barged into someone’s house with no invitation and drove away not one but three potential suitors,” Jane shot back, glancing at the clock and Blake again, a hard expression on her face. “You have already made it abundantly clear that you do not want to marry me, that you could not marry me. So stop wasting my time.”
“I want to marry you. I came here to ask you to marry me. To beg for your forgiveness and ask you to spend the rest of your life with me.” Blake took a step towards her.
“Why?” Jane asked.
The question took him by surprise, and then he smiled. “Because I love you, Jane. I love you with every fibre of my being, with all of my aching heart. I love every infuriating, charming, beffudling, wonderful part of you.
“I love the way you push me, the way you challenge me. I love your sharp wit. I love your passion for life. I even love the irritated way you scowl at me, like you are doing right now.”
She stopped scowling at him, and two endearing red spots appeared on her cheeks. She was shaking her head, but Blake saw that with each movement, her conviction was waning, even as she mouthed,I do not believe you.
“I love everything about you, Jane Pembleton. And I should have told you sooner. I wish that I had told you sooner.” Blake moved towards Jane and gently brushed a finger over her cheek. “You are perfect just the way you are, and there is nothing I would change about you. I love you, Jane Pembleton, and I think you love me too.”
“That is a rather bold assumption to make,” Jane murmured, her breath tickling his face.
Her brown eyes found his blue ones. Her lips parted. Blake felt his own heart racing in his chest, so loud that he was sure she must be able to hear it.
“Am I wrong?” Blake asked, breathing in her familiar scent. “Tell me you do not love me, tell me that you do not want to marry me, and I will leave. I will leave right now, and you will never see me again.”
