“You care for her, don’t you?” Richard asked.
“I do.” It felt odd to admit, but Blake refused to sit with the feeling any longer than he had to as he explained, “Which is why I will not marry her. She deserves to be with someone who will bring her joy, who will spend the rest of his days making her smile. Who she can grow old with and have children with.”
His stomach churned—he wanted to vomit as he imagined Jane with another man.
Stop being selfish.
“And you think she cannot do this with you?” Richard raised an eyebrow at him.
“I know she cannot,” Blake replied, hardening his heart.
I will not continue his line, I cannot go back on my vow—I will not give him the satisfaction.
“But how can you possibly know that? It would appear you are the man she wants.” Richard frowned.
“We do not know that. Perhaps she was simply caught up in the moment.” Blake felt oddly panicky at the thought that Jane would be forced to marry him. “One kiss does not mean that she wants to be shackled to me for the rest of her life.”
“Regardless, you cannot change the fact that you kissed her,” Richard pointed out.
“I cannot.”
“And I cannot pretend to understand what drove you to behave in such a way, especially if you are unwilling to marry her.” Richard sounded reproachful.
“I do not know either. It is like she unmakes me, drives all rational thought from my mind. We were talking—well, arguing, and she just… And then we were kissing.” Blake let out a frustrated growl.
“Women can have that effect on a man.” Richard looked half amused and half exasperated.
“I should not have kissed her.” Blake scowled.
“No, you should not have. But what’s done is done. All that remains is for you to decide what you will do about this.” Richard clapped him on the back. “I have no doubt you will do the right thing.”
“I only wish I knew what it was.” Blake stood up.
There was a brief silence, and then the grandfather clock chimed. Richard looked at Blake.
“Well, I would say that was a very successful distraction. Now, let’s get you married.” Blake grabbed his friend. “And I will figure out what to do after the wedding.”
He only hoped that time would lend him some clarity.
ChapterTwenty-Five
Eavesdropping Is A Most Deplorable Habit
“You know you are just some passing fascination, don’t you?” Lady Waterburry said.
“Pardon?” Jane turned to her with deliberate slowness.
She had done her best to avoid the woman in the week following her kiss with Blake.
Has it really been a week?
She had wanted to speak to him, but in the lead-up to the wedding, there had been no time.
I will be able to speak to him this evening.
She smiled at the thought of seeing him.
Perhaps we will dance together.
