He lifted the stays up and over her head. As he did, his left hand brushed against the back of her neck very gently, and he felt her shiver.
“You’re all done,” he murmured, setting her stays on the dressing table. “Do you need help with your hair as well?”
“I can do that,” she said, and he watched as she swiftly unpinned her dark locks and it fell in loose curls around her shoulders.
He had never noticed before just how shiny it was, and he wondered, recklessly, what it would feel like to run his fingers through it.
“Thank you,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “Now turn back around while I get into bed.”
This time, he was the one who obeyed, but as he did, he caught a glimpse of her reflection in the window as she hurried over to the bed. She looked scandalously flushed.
“I’m decent now,” she called once she was under the covers, and James turned around. She had the blanket pulled up high and was not looking at him, but staring up at the ceiling.
“Right,” he said, coughing.
Even with the blankets pulled up so high, James could see how beautiful his wife looked.
“I’ll just…” He gestured towards the settee in the corner.
She nodded, and once he reached the settee, he began to remove his clothes. When he snuck a glance at her, she was determinedly not looking at him. He almost laughed,almost. The air crackled with electric energy, and he was finding it hard to undo the buttons on his waistcoat. His movements were slow and uncharacteristically awkward.
At last, once he was in his shirttails, he settled down on the settee and pulled a blanket over him.
“Will you blow out the candelabra?” she asked. He leaned over and snuffed out the candles.
For a moment, they lay there in the darkness, on opposite sides of the room, neither of them speaking.
At last, James found his voice. “I didn’t know you still think about the conditions of our marriage,” he admitted into the darkness. “Or that you resent that we don’t live together as man and wife.”
He heard her shift under the sheets. “I don’t resent it,” she said, at last. “But I have not fully forgiven you for waiting until after our wedding day to tell me the truth.”
“I understand that.” He truly did. “It was wrong of me to keep that condition from you.”
“And to keep from me that I would never have children,” she added.
James rolled over onto his side and squinted through the dark, trying to make her out. But there wasn’t enough light, even through the window, to make her out.
“You said you were comfortable to live without children,” he reminded her slowly. He was trying to remember their conversation, but he couldn’t quite recall the details.
“I didn’t say that,” she said sharply from the bed. “I asked how I would occupy myself if I never had children. That’s why I’ve become so concerned with redecorating your home. I have to occupy myself somehow, so I’ve started with making your home habitable.”
“Ourhome,” he corrected.
She kept doing it, referring to their home as his. He didn’t like it. No matter how untraditional their marriage was, he wanted her to feel comfortable in her home.
But this time, she didn’t seem touched by the correction. She remained silent.
After several minutes, he said, “I really am sorry, Violet. I should have given you the option to have children or not, before we got married. I should have been honest with you about my desire to not continue my family line.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t agree to the marriage if I knew the truth?” she asked.
James was glad, then, that she couldn’t see his visage, because it had suddenly grown ashen. He hated that she could read him so well.
That’s what you get for marrying a smart woman.
“Yes, I thought you would say no,” he admitted at last when the silence had stretched on for far too long.
His heart was in his throat, and he waited with bated breath for her to respond. Sickening dread was coiling in his stomach. Would she hate him forever for admitting that?
