Silence fell between them, during which James felt the full weight of the emotional responsibility she had given him by telling him this story.
And for once, he welcomed it.
“Thank you for telling me this,” he said. “It helps me understand you better. And you have nothing to feel guilty about anymore. Nothing that has happened is your fault. You were only trying to protect your sister and mother. And I can see whyyou worked so hard to protect them, when you were usually the one being protected. You wanted to repay that debt.”
“I think you’re right,” she agreed slowly. “I didn’t think of it this way exactly, but yes, that’s how it felt. Without Iris here, it’s my responsibility.”
“It’s our responsibility,” he corrected her. “We’re in this together.”
“Well, thank you.” She smiled at him. “It’s nice to be on the same team for once.”
“If you don’t mind my asking…” James couldn’t hold back his curiosity any longer. “What was it like when Farrell took you? Were you scared?”
“Yes, a bit,” she said, biting her lip. “But then something strange happened. I felt very calm and very sure of all my decisions. Everything I said and did felt calculated. This happens to mesometimes, when I’m under a great deal of stress. I think I do well under pressure.”
“That sounds like your father,” James commented. “He thrived in stressful situations, from what I remember.”
Violet bit her lip harder, and James had the feeling that he had said something wrong.
“Not that I think you’re anything like him,” he added quickly.
“That’s my worst fear, you know,” she murmured. “All my life, people have told me I’m like him. We look alike—but it isn’t just that. It’s our temperaments as well. People think we are the same—calm, calculating, and cruel.”
“How could anyone think you were cruel?” James asked, stunned.
“I think they mistook my lack of warmth as coldness,” she explained. “But I hate my father, and my worst fear is that those people could be right and that I am actually like him.”
James scooted closer to his wife and cupped her cheek in his hand. “I can promise you, Violet, that you are nothing like your father. I knew him, you see. Not well, but we were acquainted. And you are nothing like him. You are strong, brave, kind, and just. He was nothing but a coward who hid behind his depravity by bullying you. You are not like that.”
Her eyes welled with tears, and she smiled up at him. There was a look of pure trust on her face, and he let his hand linger on her cheek. She was so lovely that it hurt to look at her, and like this, tender and open, he had never wanted anything more than to kiss her.
It would be so easy to lean forward and taste her lips. So easy to take her in my arms.
He leaned forward and then?—
“We should get to bed,” she whispered.
James froze. “Yes, of course,” he said, his voice hoarse.
He dropped his hand, and she smiled at him one last time before turning away, blowing out the candle and settling down to sleep.
Meanwhile, it took James averylong time to finally fall asleep.
Chapter Fifteen
“James… wake up.”
The voice was soft and sleepy, and as James slipped in and out of sleep, he found that he did not want to obey that command. It was infinitely more comfortable to lie here in bed, warm and safe, than to wake up.
“Wake up,” the voice urged again, and at last, James blinked his eyes open.
Sunlight was filtering through the window of the bedchamber, warm and buttery. It took him a second to remember that he wasn’t at home, but at an inn, and that he was sharing a bed with…
He started. He was sharing a bed with his wife! And he wasn’t simply sleeping next to her but was curled around her, with his arm wrapped around her torso and his nose buried in the crook of her neck.
“Are you awake?” Violet whispered as he shifted and loosed his grip on her. “My arm is asleep… I’d like to move it.”
“I’m awake,” he said, his voice still groggy with sleep. “I’m sorry, I must have… in the night…”
