“How very studious of you.”
“Don’t make fun of me,” she snapped, and the smile on his lips dropped. “You are the one changing the terms of our marriage on our wedding day—when it is too late, I might add, for me to understand the implications and change my mind.”
James swallowed, and she thought she saw a hint of guilt in his eyes. “I suppose I should have told you this before.”
“Yes, you should have.”
There was a tense moment during which James held her gaze. Then he looked away, out the window.
“I thought you would be relieved,” he continued. “Most ladies would be relieved.”
Violet thought carefully about this. There was a very small part of her that was relieved, of course, but it also meant…
“We will never have children,” she murmured.
“Yes. I have known for a very long time that I would never father children.”
“And what about your family line?” she asked. “You are a duke, after all. Don’t you need heirs?”
“I have a cousin who will gladly take on the job.” James shrugged. “And he has been blessed with four children already.”
“I see…”
She had never before heard of a duke shirking his husbandly, fatherly, and ducal duties like this, but she supposed there was much she didn’t know about why men did the things they did.
“Tell me, Violet,” James said, and his tone now was more conciliatory. “Do you greatly desire to have children?”
“Well…” Violet wasn’t entirely sure. “I suppose I just assumed I would become a mother if I ever got married. It is expected of wives, especially titled wives. It never crossed my mind that there would be any alternative. So, I have never actually asked myself if I desire to have children. Not when I didn’t realize there was an option.”
“Women are rarely asked what they desire,” James said, and he leaned towards her as if he genuinely wanted to hear her answer. “So I’m asking you, do you desire to have them?”
“You’re asking me now that it’s too late,” she pointed out, and he grimaced. “But I suppose… when I imagine my future without children… ”
Her stomach clenched. Her childhood had been difficult, so perhaps a life without children wouldn’t be so bad. But at the same time, she had often fantasized about having a family of herown and caring for her children better than her father had ever cared for her. In fact, having children had always seemed like the best part of marriage. And now she had to live without it, and she hadn’t even been given a choice.
“What would I do with my time if I weren’t a mother?” she asked, trying to keep some of her resentment out of her voice. “How would I occupy myself?”
“There are many things you could do,” James replied at once. “You could join a cause and donate money to charity. Or you could become an artist. As a married, titled woman, you would have duties on my estate, of course, but your free time would be yours.”
He must have seen the flicker of curiosity in her eyes because he leaned forward again and murmured, “What is it you would most like to do, Violet?”
“I’d have to think about it,” she admitted. “I’ve spent my whole life just trying to survive my father. I never had any time to consider what I actually wanted.”
For the rest of the carriage ride, Violet mulled over what she might want to do to occupy her time. Because if James was right, then her new title could give her the freedom to do whatever she wanted.
Except to experience the mysteries of adulthood, marriage, and womanhooda small voice said in her ear.Except hold your ownchild in your arms and shower them with the love you didn’t receive from your parents.
She tried to ignore that voice. Who needed the mysteries of marriage when one had all the money, power, and privilege one could ever ask for? Who needed children, or even romantic love? She had something much better. She hadfreedom.
Her chest constricted.
A few minutes later, the carriage pulled to a halt in front of Bolden House, and James helped her out. Together, they walked up the drive, and Violet felt her anticipation and excitement about her new life building inside of her.
When the butler answered the door, however, the look of horror on his face sent a chill down her spine.
“Your Graces…” he murmured. “I don’t know how it happened. They were normal when I left the hall to check on the breakfast. But when I came back…”
He pulled the door open all the way so that they could see inside. Violet gasped, and beside her, James tensed up.
