Ethan…
“Nathan?”
Nathan woke with a start. He was still leaning against the facade of White’s, and James was standing over him, a hand on his shoulder. “Nathan? Are you all right?”
“James!” Nathan blinked, trying to clear the fog that was in his head and the blurriness in his vision. It was the first time Nathan had seen his cousin since their fight, and his heart swelled with love and affection as he took in his concerned, anxious face. “You came!”
“Well, I nearly took your valet’s head off in the process! What were you thinking, waking me at this hour?”
“You’re just grumpy because you left a warm body in your bed,” Nathan said, laughing maniacally. He was pushing it, he knew, after their last interaction, but his exhaustion and drunkenness made him bold.
James’ eyes narrowed. “Careful. That’s the Duchess you’re speaking of.”
“My apologies. Although you must admit how scandalous it is: you actually share a bed with your wife.”
“Are we here to talk about my marriage?” James snapped. “Or yours?”
That sobered Nathan up. “Did Gibbs tell you I’m having cold feet?”
James arched an eyebrow. “He did. And while I might have believed that a week ago, I don’t believe you’d back out now, after how hard you worked to ensure it happened. You have stepped up to a degree that I could have only hoped you would.”
“You shouldn’t have doubted me,” Nathan grumbled, and James smiled sadly. “I couldn’t stand it if you thought so ill of me, James. You are my oldest friend. My oldest friend, now that Ethan is gone…”
“I was just scared for you,” James said. “Scared that you had become someone I no longer recognized.”
“Well, I still may. I’m not sure I can go through with this.”
“We’ll talk about that once you’re home and cleaned up. Here, let me get you up.” James put an arm under his shoulder, and with a grunt, he managed to get Nathan on his feet. For a moment, Nathan swayed, but then he leaned on his cousin and found his balance. He still felt drunk but less so.
I’ll be able to walk down the aisle without falling over, he assured himself.
It was lighter out now, and down the street, he saw a few people moving—street sweepers and urchins, mostly, no one who would recognize him, thankfully. Behind James, Nathan also saw his carriage with Gibbs standing beside it, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet anxiously.
“We should get you home,” James said. “You look a mess, and you’re supposed to be at the church in three hours.”
His cousin half-carried him to the carriage then he and Gibbs helped Nathan up into it. At last, they were trundling back along the cobblestone streets of Mayfair to Carramere Mansion. When they arrived, the house was already bustling with activity as everyone prepared for the arrival of the new duchess.
The energy awakened him a bit more, and by the time he was up in his bedchamber and had bathed and put on fresh clothes, he was feeling a modicum of calm.
“Better?” James asked when Nathan emerged from his bedroom into the antechamber where the cousins often played cards together late into the night. James was stretched out on a sofa, drinking a small glass of claret.
“Really?” Nathan asked. “You’re drinking at eight in the morning?”
“You’re one to talk,” his cousin said, raising an eyebrow.
“I was drinking last night.”
“And into this morning.”
“Well, I’m the bridegroom. Isn’t that what he’s supposed to do the night before his wedding?”
James shrugged. “Marriage isn’t as bad as that, you know.”
Nathan crossed the room and sat down across from James. “Give me one of those,” he said, nodding at the claret.
James hesitated then poured him a small glass. “Just so you won’t have a raging headache in the middle of the ceremony.”
Nathan gulped down the claret then set it down on the coffee table and looked hard at his cousin. “I don’t know if I can do it,” he said. “I don’t know if I can marry her.”
