And yet, saying it out loud to Rosalie seemed to lessen some of the intensity of it. This surprised him.
He met her eyes and saw that they were soft and steady.
“That must have been unimaginably terrible,” she murmured.
He nodded. “It was. I could hear my brother screaming for me, screaming for me to save him, but I wasn’t able to go to him. My father restrained me.”
“He what?” she spat. “That was wrong of him.”
“Yes, it was.”
Her expression became more thoughtful. “While I don’t agree with what he did, he may have been right, though. You might have died if you had attempted to save your brother.”
“Maybe.” He touched her face slowly, wondering how much he could admit. “But I have often thought, since that day, that I would rather be dead with my brother than alive without him, knowing I couldn’t save him, knowing he died in pain and fear, and knowing I failed him.”
“You didn’t fail him,” she breathed, and there was a hard determination in her eyes that told him she believed this with every fiber of her being. “There was nothing you could do.”
“I know,” he said heavily. Once again, he traced her jawline with his thumb. She was so beautiful and such a good listener; it meant more to him than he could express to be able to tell her these things and to hear her support him. “And truthfully, today was the first time I no longer felt that way. When I held you in my arms after you nearly fell, I felt, for the first time in two years, like I am happy to be alive and here with you now in this castle.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she reached up and wound her arms around his neck.
“I think you have to kiss me after that,” she whispered, her lips against his ear.
He laughed throatily then his mouth found hers. “I think you’re right.”
Chapter Twenty-One
“Are you ready?” Nathan asked, squeezing Rosalie’s hand as they stood in front of the large, thick wooden door, waiting for it to open and let them in.
“I’m ready,” she whispered. She wasn’t looking at him, but after a moment, she squeezed his hand back.
“We can always leave if you aren’t sure,” he said although he knew what her answer would be.
“No.” She shook her head. “I need to do this. For me.”
The door opened, and one of the guards came out and beckoned them to follow him. “Your Graces, Jebediah Crampton is inside now. He is waiting for you.”
Nathan looked at Rosalie, and she gave him a determined grimace. Visiting Jebediah Crampton in prison had seemed like a good idea to Nathan when he had first suggested it to Rosalieafter their horseback riding lesson. She had needed closure, and he had thought this was the way to get it. But now that they were here in the prison that housed the former Viscount, he had his misgivings.
For one thing, it was a creepy place with low ceilings, doors padlocked shut, and bars on all the windows. For another, now that they were here, Nathan wasn’t sure how helpful it would really be for Rosalie to speak to the man who had tormented her all her life. If he’d been able to confront his father, he wasn’t sure he would want to. What could he say to his father that would make him feel better? What could his father possibly say to him that would make up for everything that had happened?
Nothing.The truth was, sometimes it was better to just move on.
“Let’s go in,” Rosalie said, and Nathan nodded.
They walked past the guard into the room where Jebediah Crampton, the former Lord Carfield, sat chained to a chair, a small table in front of him.
There were two empty chairs across the table, and Rosalie sat down in one of these. Nathan remained standing.
“Father,” Rosalie murmured. She was staring at her father, a sad but guarded look on her face.
Jebediah Crampton, meanwhile, was smiling. It was a lazy, contemptuous smile, and it made the hairs on the back ofNathan’s neck stand up. The former Viscount looked older than the last time they’d met, but it had been several years, and he had been in prison, so Nathan wasn’t surprised. His hair had gone fully gray, his face was lined, and his eyes and cheeks sunken. His eyes, however, were still as bright and cunning as they always had been, and despite his aging, Nathan was still shocked to see how much he looked like Rosalie’s older sister, Violet.
“Rosalie,” Jebediah said, shaking his head. “So, you have come at last like I knew you would.”
“You knew I would come?” she asked, and Nathan rolled his eyes.
“He didn’t know,” he snapped. “He’s just trying to establish power over you.”
