“And my parents were still alive at the time. When I think back on that day, all I can remember is how proud my brother looked when I rode around the paddock.” He grinned sheepishly. “He acted as though I had achieved something no other boy had ever done. I am sure my parents were proud, but I cannot remember their reactions.”
“I am sure they were very proud of you.”
“I can only assume they were. My parents… Well, they were always kind to me, and encouraged me greatly.” Lord Bainechewed on his bottom lip. “They only ever seemed to have words of support for me.”
Emily watched him, noting the tension in his shoulders, and a hesitant note in his voice.They were always kind to me, not us.
“I suppose it is one of the benefits of being the second son. Far less rests upon my shoulders than the heir presumptive. Once I broke one of father’s favourite lamps, and I thought he would be furious. I ran to Luke and told him, and he promised that father would not be cross at all.” Lord Baine explained.
“A bold promise to make.” Emily replied, thinking of the times she had gotten in trouble for breaking something.
“Indeed. I was so scared that Luke offered to tell him for me. And he must have explained himself very well, because father did not punish me at all.” The relief on Lord Baine’s face, made Emily’s heart twist violently.
He has lived a sheltered life.The Duke’s words came to the forefront of her mind.How much of that sheltered life was because of his brother? Even as a child, he was protecting him.
“I am sure he did an admirable job.” Emily agreed, her realisation fresh in her mind.
“My parents were rather tougher on my brother than they were on me. I know that. My brother always says it was necessary, after all, he was their heir. The future of the dynasty, and theywere particularly proud of our lineage.” A shadow crossed Lord Baine’s face. “Which is not to say my parents did not expect a lot of me. They were very clear that I too needed to uphold the family name, but…”
“It was not the same.” Emily offered as Lord Baine trailed off.
“No it was not.” He agreed. “And then they died, and suddenly it was just my brother and me. He was so desperate to do everything right, but he was only thirteen. Even the most seasoned man will make mistakes when he comes into his inheritance, let alone a boy of thirteen!”
Emily nodded. Rose had spoken to her of Alexander’s own struggles when he had come into his own inheritance. He had not been quite as young as Duke Warren, but the pressure had still been enormous.
“That must have been very hard on you both.”
“It was. Though I think it was harder on him.”
“It is one thing to be orphaned and quite another to be orphaned and to inherit a title.”
“And the care of a younger brother. I think in his mind, his responsibility to me was even more important than the estate.” An odd look crossed Lord Baine’s face, but before Emily could ask about it, he continued, “though he never made me feel as though I were a burden or an obligation.”
Obligation.The word struck a chord inside of Emily and she had to fight to keep her voice calm. “Your faith in your brother is rather endearing.”
Lord Baine appeared not to notice the effect his words had had on her, lost in recollection of his brother’s care. “He may not be the most soft person, but he has never once made me feel as though I am his duty. I actually asked him once, if he felt I was a burden.”
“Did you?” Emily could not imagine asking her sisters the same question.What if they said I was?
“I did. And he said that of all the things that felt like a burden, I would never be one of them. It was his choice to care for me first, and his duty second.” Lord Baine smiled at Emily. “The words meant more to me than I could ever say.”
Emily swallowed. “I can imagine.”
What would it be like to know that someone cared for you, simply because you were you?She felt a pang of jealousy in her chest, and shook her head. It was silly to be jealous, especially of people who had experienced such tragedy.I am being ridiculous.
“Though I can imagine that it was not always easy between the two of you. After all, your brother does seem to have rather exacting standards.” Emily cast a sidelong look at Lord Baine.
“He does. Though he never applied them to me. Or at least, not horribly. In truth, I think he holds himself to a far higher standard. That is the person who bears the brunt of his ire.” There was a note of sadness in Lord Baine’s voice as he said it.
“It is hard to watch someone we care about treat themselves harshly.” Emily said, thinking of Duke Warren.
“It is. And though I tried to encourage him to be a little less serious… Well, I did not have much to draw upon in terms of childhood frivolities, and in truth, my interests were rather more bookish than my brother’s.” Lord Baine shook his head.
He was robbed of his childhood. Of course he values propriety above all, it is probably the only road map he has.Emily chewed on her bottom lip, trying to reconcile this softer, more caring version of the Duke with everything she had seen of him thus far.
“I wonder how different your lives would have been if your parents had not passed so unexpectedly and when you were so young.” Emily mused.
“I often think this. In some ways, perhaps it would have been better. In others, perhaps worse. I do not know how much they would have allowed my brother to indulge his childish instincts.”
