“Come on, Uncle Peter.” Lord Arthur was tugging insistently on his uncle’s hand.
“Very well.” Lord Peter gave his nephew an impish grin. “I shall race you, last one there is a big girl’s blouse!”
“Hey! That’s cheating.” Lord Arthur yelled as Lord Peter began running.
“Not in front of the shooting!” Duke Emberly bellowed after the two retreating figures. “Honestly, how many times do I have to tell them?”
“I used to have do the same with Rodger. In some ways it was a relief when he discovered reading. He was forever inside, and I did not have to worry about accidentally shooting him.” Luke shook his head, remembering how he had tried to explain how dangerous what his brother was doing was to him.
It was a comical image, as he had only been young himself. He had felt so grown up though.How little I knew.
“Sadly, my own brood seems to have enough non-bookworms that they are perpetually getting up to mischief.” Duke Emberly sighed, but Luke could hear the affection in his voice. “I suppose it is the danger of having such a large family.”
“I do not know how you manage.” Luke found himself saying. “I struggle often enough and I only have to look after Rodger and my duchy.”
“Some days it is easier than others. And although my family has only grown, it is much easier to look after things now that I am older.” Duke Emberly ran a hand through his hair. “Though I have made plenty of mistakes.”
“Really?” Luke canted his head towards the man.
“Of course. I am only human, and more to the point, I was not even a man full-grown when I came into my inheritance.” A flash of pain crossed the Duke’s face, and Luke’s own chest squeezed. “It is a hard burden to bear, especially at such a young age.”
“How old were you?” Luke asked.
For a moment, he was worried that the other man would think his question impertinent. After all, most Duke’s kept well appraised of the inheritance of titles. It allowed them to keep alliances strong, to form new ones as needed. But it had not been until Luke was older that he had learned this.
“I was sixteen.” Duke Emberly said after a moment, stroking the scar across his face. “In one night, my entire life changed. I went from the heir to the Duke. From brother, to father.”
Luke nodded. “When my parents died, I was only thirteen. I did not even have any time to grieve. Suddenly there were all these decisions to be made and everyone was looking to me.”
“It is hard.”
“How did you do it? You seem so at ease with all of it, like you know exactly what to do at any given moment. I wish I felt like that.”
To his surprise, Duke Emberly laughed. “I seem that way now, but it was not always like this.”
“It was not?”
“Of course not! I made mistakes, a great many of them.” Duke Emberly shook his head. “Warr- May I call you Warren?”
Luke felt a warmth through his chest at Duke Emberly’s suggestion. He had not had time for friends. Everyone save Rodger referred to him by his title. He did not trust himself to speak and simply nodded.
Duke Emberly gently squeezed Luke’s shoulder. “Now, as I was saying, I have not always been so at ease with my title. Nor my duties. I made many, many mistakes. But I learned from them.”
“I have always felt that to err was to bring ruin on everything.” His parents voices rang through his head.
Mistakes. Nothing but mistakes. Can you do nothing right or do you delight in shaming us?He had tried so hard to make the right decisions
“To err is to be human, Warren. I still make mistakes, even now.” “Fatherhood is a gift, but there is no manual. There is nothing that tells us how to be a good husband, a good Duke.”
Luke frowned. “But there are books on the subjects. Books on land management and such.”
“That tells us how to run things, not what it means to be a good person. We know our duty well enough, but that does not equip us with the skills to be a good person.” Duke Emberly shook his head.
“Is that not why we have the rules of decorum?” Luke asked, unable to help himself. “Propriety is what guides us, what keeps us separate from the beasts.”
“Propriety teaches us how to be correct, not to be good.” Duke Emberly gave Luke a piercing look and for a moment, he felt as though the other man was seeing him as he was. “There is a difference. A good man is not always a proper man.”
Duke Emberly’s words struck something deep within Luke and he found himself unable to look away from the other man’s gaze.
