“We are not going to do that.” Luke’s voice was soft and gentle.
“Oh of course, that would hardly be proper.” Emily shook her head. “You would not leave, but you will not allow us to marry. If you are quite finished embarrassing me, I will take my leave.”
She made to exit, but felt Luke’s fingers brush against her wrist. She turned to him and saw that he was offering her a handkerchief and gesturing back to the sofa.
“Please, I was not trying to embarrass you. I simply wanted to know the truth.” His voice was gentle. “I will tell no one your secret.”
“Why?” Emily asked, dabbing at her face with his handkerchief.
“Because that would be cruel.” He replied simply. “I take it that you cannot write very much either?”
Emily shook her head. “No.”
“That is why you will not prove those letters false. Because you cannot without sharing your secret.” He shook his head. “I do not understand though, both of your sisters can read and write. How is it that you cannot?”
“I can do a little of both.” Emily said, wrapping her arms around herself. “But… Well… As I am the last to be married, and you already know my great shame, I suppose there is little sense in hiding any more from you.”
She took a steadying breath. “We had some money troubles when I was younger. I did not know it at the time, but I have learned the truth of things from Rose.
“All I knew was that I had a governess, and then suddenly my mother was the one who was managing my education.” Emily shook her head. “And she barely had time for that. Her focus was on Rose, after all she was our only hope of salvation. It is not that she neglected me, but she assumed I could do things.”
“She taught me what she thought most important. The social graces, how to read people. How to cultivate appearances.” Emily thought of her mother telling her what different smiles meant to different people.
Never give too much away dear girl, less is always more.
There was an irony to her words that was not lost on Emily in that moment.
Luke frowned. “But not how to read or to write?”
“She thought I already knew how to do both.” Emily explained, her cheeks flushing deeply.
“And you did not think to tell her the truth?” Luke canted his head towards her.
“How could I? I felt as though I were already some inept burden. So, I thought I might teach myself, but the words and letters. It is like they simply will not sit still.” Emily clenched her fist, refusing to allow more tears to fall. “Over time, I learned the shape of things. I listened to people read and memorised what they said. Then I would repeat it.”
“And you never thought to tell your sisters?” Luke asked.
“I did not want them to think less of me.” Emily shook her head. “I am their baby sister. They love me, but when they are each so accomplished how could they not judge me? Not when I cannot do something so simple.”
“Yet you wrote to them.” Luke was frowning. “Duchess Emberly spoke of receiving letters from you.”
“I dictate my letters. Lucy writes them for me.” Emily gestured to Lucy who was standing a respectful distance from them. “And reads bits and pieces for me.”
“How have you kept this hidden for so long?” The Duke murmured, and Emily could have sworn he sounded impressed and a little sad.
“I have a good memory. If I have heard someone read a book, I try and look at where they are reading from and match it.” Emily shook her head. “It is not always perfect, but it is why I will only offer to read if we are well into the evening.”
“When people have had many drinks?” he raised an eyebrow at her.
“Exactly. People notice less when they are drunk. It is easy to convince them of things.” Emily sighed. “More often, I would simply offer to play music. But once rumours began circulating about how arrogant I was about my skills…”
“You felt you could not play. You knew you could not clear your name, and without that, if you played it would only add fuel to the fire.” Luke nodded in understanding.
“Exactly.” Emily thought of the many months that had passed since she last played the pianoforte, and felt as though her heart were breaking. “It has been hard.”
“I can imagine. I have known you only a short time, but I have seen how music seems to light you up.” Luke was stroking his chin as though he were thinking.
“I know it is not proper, but I would ask you a favour. If you would allow me to tell the others, or at least my sisters, I would owe you a great debt.” Emily looked at him imploringly. “Well, another debt I suppose.”
