“Yes.” Emily swallowed.
“Oh.” That stopped Luke, and Emily felt some satisfaction at the sheepish look that flitted across his face. “Very well. And you are certain you feel able to ride?”
“Of course I do.” Emily snapped, trying to ignore the mounting panic spreading through her.
“Are you sure? Perhaps it would be better if you waited.” Luke moved towards her, his eyes wide.
“I am perfectly capable, thank you very much. And I am not a child. I do not need a nursemaid.” It was easier to be angry than to admit how scared she was.Perhaps I can use this to overcome my fear.
“I did not say you did, I am…” Luke trailed off, and looked away from her, his fists clenched.
Emily frowned at him. “You are what?”
“I do not think this is a good idea.” He said, still not looking at her.
Before she could say anything else, the sound of clip clopping hooves behind them, drew Emily’s attention away from the Duke. A groom was leading a chestnut mare towards them. She was a gentle mare, called Daffodil.
The mare let out a soft nicker as she approached and Emily felt her shoulders tense even more. She was aware of Luke studyingher and forced herself to relax. She strode to the mounting block, but with each step, it seemed harder to breath.
She reached a shaking hand for the reins, and as she tried to mount Daffodil she slipped. She let out a cry, but before she could fall, strong hands were at her back, steadying her and putting her back on her feet.
“You are safe.” Luke’s words washed over her, and to Emily’s intense shame and embarrassment her eyes filled with tears.
“I… I am sorry.” She stammered at the groom and then tore away from the stables.
She was dimly aware of someone saying something behind her, and then she felt a strong hand clasp firmly, but tenderly around her wrist. She stopped, but did not turn around.She knew by the scent of amber and the hint of frost that it was Luke.
“Have you come to gloat?” Emily’s shame warred with her anger.
Luke’s voice was gentle and soft. “I came to make sure you were all right.”
“I am fine.” Emily moved out of his grip, wrapping her arms around herself.
The warmth of his fingers leaving her skin seemed to fill her with a sense of loss. She refused to dwell on it.I am being overly emotional, that is all. It is just some flight of fancy.
“You are crying.” Luke pointed out as he pressed a handkerchief into Emily’s hand.
“Very well, I am not fine. You were right. Is that what you want to hear? I was not ready to ride, I was a fool to even try.” Emily blew her nose and turned to face him, gesturing towards the stables. “There is no way I can do this.”
“Why did you want to?” Luke asked, and Emily could hear genuine curiosity in his voice.
“Because…” Emily paused, a tumult of emotions running through her.Why did I think this was a good idea?
All she could think of was the odd fidgety feeling that had filled her all afternoon and the need to get rid of some of that energy. The need to feel like she was in control. But she did not think she could say any of that to the Duke.
Instead, she settled for part of the truth. “I have only just gotten music back. And riding is something I love. And they say that the longer you stay away after a fall the more likely you are never to get back on the horse.”
“I have heard that said.” Luke’s expression was neutral.
Emily’s voice broke as she looked up at him, unable to keep the fear from taking over. “What if I am too weak to do it again? What if I have to give it up?”
“And why would you say that?” Luke frowned at her.
“You saw what just happened. I slipped and completely fell to pieces.” She winced at the memory. “You probably think I am just some pathetic, weak woman.”
She turned from him, unsure why the thought of seeing the confirmation of her words hurt so much. It should not matter what he thought.
But we have been getting on so well recently.She pushed the feelings away. It did not matter. There was no future. She knew he would never get married.I do not want to marry him. He does not want to marry me. I am supposed to be marrying his brother.
