“What does it matter if he will not act on them?” Emery asked dully. “It is the same as if he doesn’t feel them at all.”
“That isn’t true,” Georgina insisted. “You could still get him to change his mind!”
“And why should I?” Emery lowered the cake and stared, disbelievingly, at her friend. “This man has done nothing but ruin my life! First he forces me to marry him. Then he makes me think that we are falling in love. And then, because of a stupid mistake his brother made, he pulls out the rug from underneath me and takes away my dream of love!”
Georgina shifted uncomfortably on the couch across from her. “I am deeply sorry about that,” she said, lowering her eyes. “It is as much my fault as it is Henry’s. I can’t even tell you what came over me. I just saw him there, and I wanted so badly to be alone with him, and then he was ushering me away, and I was powerless to resist.”
“Well, you should have resisted,” Emery said crossly. She could understand where her friend was coming from, and unlike Lucien she would eventually forgive her, but it didn’t stop her from being angry. “It was a very foolish thing to do. You easily could have been caught, and if you had been, you would have been ruined. It’s probably a good thing, for you at least, that Lucien caught you when he did and sent you back to the party.”
“I know,” Georgina said, and she swallowed, as if trying to repress a sob. “It was the most foolish thing I’ve ever done. AndI will never forgive myself for it if it is the reason your husband decided he cannot be with you in a romantic and loving way.”
“That’s not the reason,” Emery said, waving a hand dismissively. “He is just using it as pretext because he is afraid of getting close to me. And I do truly believe he’s afraid of letting his feelings overtake him to the point where he is not thinking about his duty. But that fear has been in him for a long time, and it would have resurfaced eventually. Finding you and Henry brought it to the forefront a bit sooner, but one way or another, I would have lost him.” She sighed and stared out the window. It was raining and gray outside; weather as depressing as she felt. “One way or another, he would have shown me he isn’t strong enough.”
“I’m very sorry,” Georgina murmured. There was a long pause, during which Emery ate the cake she’d selected, then reached for and devoured another two. Sugar, she was finding, was one of the few things that helped right now. When she’d woken up alone and cold in her new room, she had immediately ordered a hot chocolate drink to be brought to her and had drunk it alone in the bed, missing her husband with every fiber of her being.
“Now I must look forward to Leah marrying,” Emery said, “so that I can move into my own house and begin my life without my husband. I don’t know what I will do with all my time if we are not living together. I will hardly need to entertain as the duchess if we are living apart.”
“You may still entertain,” Georgina said slowly. “And perhaps you may take up charity work. You could, eventually, findcomfort in another gentleman. It is not unknown for widows to--”
“No,” Emery said emphatically, as a knot formed in her stomach. If it can’t be Lucien, then I don’t want anyone.“I am done with love,” she said out loud. “It has been nothing but a disappointment. I will focus instead on my sisters-in-law. Perhaps they will want to come live with me. Living with Lucien is awful for them, and without me, I’m sure it will return to the drudgery it was before.”
It was quiet for another few moments, and then Georgina asked, tentatively, and with a hint of fear, “Did the Duke say anything about Henry and myself?”
Emery blinked. In her despair over his ending of their romantic relationship, she had forgotten to ask the Duke what would happen with Henry and Georgina.
“No,” she said, apologetically. “I’m sorry, he didn't. Why? Have you heard anything?”
“No,” Georgina said quickly. “But he was so adamant that Henry had compromised me that I thought he would require us to marry.”
“Is that what you want?” Emery asked, leaning forward with interest. “I know we haven’t discussed it, but it seems to me that you care for him, and I know that you care for him as well.”
“It’s certainly not how I wanted it,” Georgina said. “We do not know each other well, it is true. And if we were to marry quickly, it would only draw scandal down upon us and rumors. But I do care for him, as you say. In fact…” A small smile creased her lips. “I think I love him.”
“Really?” Emery felt her heart hitch, and despite the annoyance she still felt at her friend for being so foolish as to go off alone with Henry, she also felt a rush of excitement and pleasure. “You love him?”
Georgina looked directly at her, and Emery was shocked to see that her eyes had filled with tears. “I think I may have loved him since the moment you introduced me, Em.”
This was certainly a shock, and Emery sat back on the couch as she processed this revelation. “I never knew,” she murmured. “You never once hinted at any regard on your side!”
“Well how could I?” Georgina laughed. “He was your fiancé! I would have been the worst friend imaginable if I had told you I might be in love with your fiancé!”
“I don’t know, maybe it would have made me realize much sooner that I needed to end that engagement,” Emery said with a shrug.
Georgina peered at her a little more closely. “And are you glad the engagement ended, after everything that’s happened? Is there a part of you that wishes you had married Henry instead,considering what a disappointment the Duke has turned out to be?”
Emery thought about this for a long moment. As she did, memories of the last few weeks flooded her: dancing late at night at Lucien’s country estate; their waltz together in London; their first kiss; even their second kiss. It had ended in disappointment, yes. But would she trade for a different life? For a passionless yet friendly marriage with Henry?
And as she remembered the look in Lucien’s eyes as he had gazed down at her right before he first kissed her, she had to conclude that no, she wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
“No,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I don’t wish I’d married Henry instead. Experiencing even a glimpse of passion with the Duke taught me that it does exist. Even if I’ll never experience it with him again, or any other man, I’m glad I have known it at least once.”
“I understand,” Georgina said, and she took Emery’s hand from across the table. “I feel the same way. Even if the Duke doesn’t allow Henry to ever see me again, I’m glad I experienced that moment alone with him in the hedge maze. It was one of the best moments of my life--before it became one of the worst.”
“I don’t think the Duke will forbid Henry to see you,” Emery said. “Most likely, he will have Henry marry you.”
“Then I suppose I should be glad,” she said, smiling faintly. “It certainly won’t be the romantic proposal I dreamed of, but I dolove him very much. I just hope that it won’t cause any more scandal for your family.”
“I hope so as well,” Emery said grimly. “But I think this family is more resilient than the Duke does, and if we stick together--you, me, Henry, Leah, Celeste, and Eve--then I think we can weather any storm.”
