“No, of course not,” Dorian said quickly. “You don’t need to worry about that even a little.”
“Well then, better you than Lord Dubois, you must agree,” Lucien said. “And although I know that you have never sought out marriage for yourself, in some ways, I am happy you are marrying my sister. Our families are close, which means we will see you often, and when you have children, they will be close to Emery’s and my children as well.”
Dorian swallowed and nodded. He had not told Lucien everything that he had once vowed. And while he was going to have to tell Leah eventually, he wasn’t about to admit it right now to her older brother. He might call off the wedding, and then Leah would be forced to wed Dubois.
“I know it isn’t what you wanted,” Lucien continued, “but despite your past relationships with women, I think you will make a fine husband. You are more loyal than you give yourself credit for. Look at how long we have been friends, and how good you have always been to me!”
“Yes, that is true,” Dorian said. But loyalty wasn’t what he was worried about. His friends might think him a rake, but in fact, he had never had any problem with the idea of committing to one woman.
Merely with the action. It was the fact he had vowed never to do so, and that he had no intention of breaking his vow, that was the problem.
Lucien sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You know, things were even worse between the Duchess and myself when we were first married.”
“Really?” Anthony asked, his eyebrows shooting up.
“Yes,” Lucien said, chuckling to himself. “After our wedding, in the carriage on the way to my estate, we argued the whole time. I thought she hated me! And yet, everything worked out between us. Now, I cannot imagine being happier than I am or loving anyone more than I love her.”
Anthony looked as if he found this very amusing, but he said nothing, and fortunately, Lucien didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he looked very seriously at Dorian. “You and Leah have an even better head start than Emery and I did. You are friends and you have known each other for years. Surely that is a better foundation for a good marriage?”
“I suppose so,” Dorian conceded. But he wasn’t sure that was going to help. If anything, that was part of the problem. Lady Leahwasa friend of his. He cared about her. And having to hurt someone he cared about was part of what was making him so morose. If he were marrying a woman he didn’t like or care for, then perhaps it would be easier to condemn her to a cold, loveless, affectionless marriage.
“I don’t know what you are so troubled about,” Anthony said. “A marriage is just a marriage and nothing more. Dukes must marry; it is our duty to produce an heir. But it doesn’t need to cause so much angst. Many dukes and duchesses live separatelives and are very happy with the arrangement. Our friend Lucien here is the exception. You don’t need to be madly in love with your wife, you just need to have a level of respect and friendship that allows you to lead a life of equanimity.”
Lucien looked annoyed at this, but he pressed his lips together and said nothing. Dorian had the feeling he didn’t like the idea of his sister marrying someone who admitted he was going to live separate from her.
Dorian didn’t like it either. But he couldn’t deny it was true. Turning away from his friends, he urged his horse forward, into the forest, after the rest of their hunting party. The less he thought about his wedding for the next twenty-four hours--until it was over with--the better.
For the rest of the hunt, Dorian could think of little other than the dread that was building inside him. And when he returned home that afternoon, this feeling was only compounded by the preparations that were being made for the wedding breakfast.
There seemed to be an air of general excitement throughout the house. Even his valet looked upbeat and excited as he brought out Dorian’s finest waistcoat and cravats for him to try on .
“I never thought this day would come, Your Grace,” his valet said, looking more pleased than was strictly appropriate. “It will be very good to have a lady in the house again.”
“Yes,” Dorian said, “although we will not be spending the honeymoon here. We shall be going to my country estate.”
“Either way, it will be very pleasant to see how the Duchess will liven up the house.”
Dorian said nothing. He doubted that Lady Leah would remain lively for very long once she understood the strictures of their marriage.
But there was nothing Dorian could do to stop what was happening. He had made his choice, and he was just going to have to live with it. This was reiterated that evening, when a letter arrived for him from the Archbishop.
They had secured the marriage license. He and Lady Leah Grove were going to be wed tomorrow. Dorian just had to hope that Lord Dubois didn’t get wind of it and rush in to stop the proceedings before they could go forward.
“Everything is so beautiful,” Leah whispered as she walked down the stairs the next morning and was greeted by the sight of the hallway filled with the most beautiful flowers she had ever set eyes on. “It’s exactly how I always dreamed it would be.”
Beside her, Vivian and Celeste both beamed.
“I’m so glad,” Vivian said. “I can’t quite believe everything came together, but it did. This is even more elaborate than when I was married--and we had plenty of time to plan the festivities!”
“Thank you so much,” Leah said, turning to her friend and squeezing her hand. “I could not have done this without you.” Then she turned to her sister. “And you, Celeste… I would not have found the strength to go through with this if it weren’t for you.”
“You would have,” Celeste assured her, but her eyes were filled with tears. “You’re the strongest person I know.”
Leah smiled at her sister, truly appreciative of her saying this, even if she didn’t feel particularly strong at this moment. In fact, she knew perfectly well she was forcing herself to act strong and brave, when really, she was falling apart on the inside. Today was her wedding day, and she still hadn’t seen or spoken to her groom. He hadn’t visited her yesterday, nor had he sent a note, and everything felt wrong. Everything looked exactly how she had imagined her wedding day, but it certainly didn’t feel like how she had always hoped it would feel: a joyous day marrying the man of her dreams.
“Are you feeling nervous?” Vivian asked, sensing the shift in her mood, and Leah nodded.
“At least there will only be a few of us here,” Celeste reassured her. “Just the families. That way there’s less of a chance…”
