“Tonight!” Vanessa saw her face pale in the mirror, despite her best effort to keep a neutral expression. Her mother, she knew, thought it was an excellent match, and she did not want to disappoint her.
“Yes, tonight!” Lady Forthwell affirmed, smiling superciliously. “I heard rumors from the jewelers that he even procured a ring! Is it not romantic, my dear? And my, how pretty you look!” She reached out and touched Vanessa’s cheek. “That blue gown suits you perfectly. Lord Langdon will not be able to help himself! He will have to declare himself.”
Vanessa was thinking hard and fast. Lord Langdon couldnotpropose tonight. She hadn’t had enough time to think of a way out of this match. The encounter with the priest two days earlier had only confused her more. She had wanted to discuss it with Elaine earlier but had been afraid someone might find out if she told her maid. But now, her confusion was so strong she had to talk about it with someone.
“Why do you not look pleased?” her mother asked, frowning as she let her hand drop. “This is excellent news; you should be overjoyed.”
“I—” Vanessa could feel the panic rising inside of her.
“Now that I think about it, perhaps the blue does not suit you,” Lady Forthwell said, her eyes sweeping over the gown. “It makes you look like a sour grape. Really, Vanessa, why can you not try harder to keep your appearance fresh and pleasing? You are not so young anymore, and if you do not keep your countenance beautiful, you will miss this one opportunity to find a match.”
“It surely is not my only opportunity,” Vanessa said, her heart hammering.
Her mother scoffed derisively. “Of course, it is! My darling, you know I love you dearly, but you have always been rather… shy. Always clinging to the walls at parties and refusing to make conversation. You are very lucky, you know, that you have caught Lord Langdon’s eye; you have no idea what kind of ladies tried to get his attention.”
Vanessa’s cheeks heated as humiliation spread over her. Her mother, she knew, was only speaking the truth, but it still filled her with shame.
“I know you don’t mean to, my dear, but you are sounding ungrateful and stubborn.”
“Never,” she smiled at her mother—at least that she knew was not a lie.
“After all,” her mother continued, “you debuted three years ago! Do you have any idea how that has reflected on me, Vanessa? The other mamas talk, you know. And they say that I have not prepared you for Society—that I did not teach you how to be a proper young lady.”
Guilt flooded Vanessa’s chest. The last thing she wanted was to cause her mother any humiliation in front of the other marriage-minded mamas. She had already disappointed her parents so much merely with her existence…
“You are right, Mama,” she said, lowering her eyes. “I am sorry. It is just my nerves speaking. I will change into a different color dress, and then, I will ensure that I look lovely tonight for Lord Langdon.”
Lady Forthwell’s face relaxed, and she smiled.
“Perfect,” she said, smoothing down her dress. “No, no, keep the blue dress, dear. I was right to begin with. And thank you, Elaine—her hair really does look lovely.”
She patted Vanessa on the shoulder and then, after a short hesitation, leaned forward and kissed Vanessa on the forehead. Vanessa’s mouth immediately dropped open, and her eyes filled with tears. It had been a very long time since her mother had shown such gentle affection, and it meant more to her than she could say.
“I’m proud of you, my dear,” Lady Forthwell said. Then she turned and swept from the room. When she was gone, Vanessalooked up again to meet Elaine’s eyes. Her lady’s maid sighed and shook her head.
“Something tells me you should have listened to that priest of yours,” Elaine observed as she pinned the last curl into place.
Half an hour later, as Vanessa sat at the dining room table next to Lord Langdon, she wondered if she should have listened to him as well.
Lord Langdon was tall with pale blue eyes and even paler blonde hair. His face was sharp and proud with a long, aquiline nose, but there was something cold about it, in Vanessa’s opinion, almost skeletal, as if the skin was pulled too tightly over the bones.
But he was considered handsome by most ladies of theton, and who was she to argue with the general consensus? There was nothing objectionable about his appearance, she knew, but as she stared across at him, she felt nothing but repulsion.
His was the face that had tormented her for so long. At least she was not sitting across from him, so she did not have to look directly at him throughout the meal.
Not that she was eating. She was so nervous that she had barely even touched her soup. And as the footman whisked it away, replacing it with pheasant, she felt her stomach turn.
He is going to propose tonight, and I still do not know if I am going to accept him.
Every instinct in her told her she had to refuse, but how could she in front of her parents? They would never speak to her again. They might cast her out of the house. Perhaps it would even ruin them if Lord Langdon made good on his threat to drag her name through the mud should she displease him.
“Why are you not smiling?” Lord Langdon hissed at her now, while her father and mother were speaking to his parents, the Marquess and Marchioness of Pedington.
“I am eating, my lord,” she murmured, her lips barely moving.
“You can smile and eat,” he snarled. “My future wife should look happy to be marrying me.”
Vanessa forced herself to smile, even as anger and humiliation bloomed inside of her.
