“You look beautiful,” he said, and he was surprised to hear the emotion in his voice. “You will be the most beautiful woman at this ball tonight, of that I have no doubt.”
Vanessa smiled and laughed, looking down as a blush crept across her cheeks. “I am sure that is not true,” she muttered. “The dress is simply very flattering.”
“No, Vanessa,” he said, cupping her chin and bringing her eyes up to meet his. “It is you. Not the dress.”
He did not think it was possible for her to smile any more brightly, but at his words, she beamed with even more radiance, and he felt another small chunk of the ice around his heart melt.
She is the sun. The sun that warms my heart and brings me out into the light.
He offered her his arm, and she took it. Together, they walked across the hall, where the butler handed them their coats, and then they strode together out to the waiting carriage.
Once they were inside and seated opposite each other, Winston said, “Your smile is different. Until today, I feel that it has been somewhat restrained.”
“That may be true,” she replied as the carriage began to trundle out of the drive and down the street. “Until these last few days, I have never known what it is like to feel confident in oneself. Not just confident but adored and surrounded by friends.”
“They seem to adore you very much,” Winston said.How could they not?And, realizing this was something he should say to his wife, he asked, “How could they not?”
She flushed and lowered her eyes. “I have not told you this before,” she murmured, “but I have never had any friends before. My parents did not like for me to socialize with other young ladies; they said it filled my head with notions of disobedience. And then, as we grew closer to my debut, they feared that if I befriended other young ladies, I would feel guilty trying to win the best husbands from them.”
Winston felt his hand flex, as if to reach for a sword or a pistol. Lord and Lady Forthwell had so much to answer for, and if he had not just sworn to Leo that he would give up his crusade against the worst of theton,he would have liked to have gone to their home and shown them just how appalling their treatment of Vanessa had been.
As it was, he was able to get his temper under control for her sake.This is her debut as the Duchess of Thornfield. Do not ruin it for her by getting angry,he told himself sternly.
“I am sorry to hear that,” he said. “And it makes me sad for the rest of the young ladies of theton,that they got to miss out on being your friend. But I am glad that you have friends now. Miss Redding and Lady Selina are very lucky to have you.”
“They have taught me a lot about how to be confident in my new role as Duchess,” she said, smiling shyly. “Although…” She glanced out the window of the carriage. “… I do still feel nervous tonight.”
“Why?” he asked, his eyes riveted to her. He found that he could not look away from her, that he was completely spellbound by both her beauty and the radiance that shone from her.
“I have just… never known how to act at balls.” She blushed scarlet, but for once, she did not look away. “I have always felt uncomfortable in my skin, tongue-tied around gentlemen, and ungainly on my feet, even on the few occasions when someone wanted to dance with me—which was not very often. Usually I clung to walls unless it was Lord Langdon. And then, of course, I dreaded dancing with him.”
“If you felt uncomfortable at balls,” Winston said gently, “it is just because the rest of the Society did not know you and how wonderful you are. That is all going to change tonight. You are the Duchess of Thornfield, and I am by your side, and when we walk into that ballroom, I know that you are going to shine with all the beauty and confidence that I see now. Thetonwill flock to you, and once they get to know you, they will love you as much as?—”
The words almost came out of him without thinking, and he choked on them, coughing.
When he looked back up, Vanessa was watching him with wide, expectant eyes. Blood rushed to his face, and he flushed.
“They will love you as much as your new friends do,” he finished.
Her face fell just the smallest amount, but then she smiled again. “Thank you,” she said. “No one has ever said something so kind to me before.”
“I mean every word of it,” he replied, and for a moment, he wished he were a braver man, a better man, one that could have finished that sentence differently.
Twenty minutes later, as their names were announced at the ball and he entered the glittering ballroom with Vanessa on his arm, Winston felt a surge of pride so strong that it nearly winded him. Never in his life had he felt pride like this. All his life, he had felt ashamed of himself for his failure to save his mother and his sister. Sometimes his vigilante actions brought him a certain satisfaction but never pride. Not like this. Not like having Vanessa on his arm.
Because she was the most radiant, the most beautiful, the gentlest, the kindest, and strongest woman he had ever met. And having her on his arm meant something. She was like a gift of redemption, a chance to be better in this life and to fight for something good and pure, not for something dark and twisted.And to know that she was his made him feel both unworthy and as if he had won the greatest prize.
I have to endeavor to be good enough for her,he reminded himself as heads turned in their direction and ladies and gentlemen began to whisper to one another.
It would start tonight. Tonight, he would show her how much he admired her, how proud he was to be with her, and he would make sure she felt like the most beautiful and confident woman thetonhad ever seen.
They reached the end of the stairs, and he turned to her and bowed. “A dance, Your Grace?” he murmured, and she smiled widely and took his hand.
“Is that appropriate?” she asked as she took his hand. “Should not we dance with other people first, lest we look like a tiresome couple who are still on their honeymoon?”
“I do not care,” Winston said as he led her toward the dance floor. “I want the whole world to see us.”
Vanessa felt like she was on cloud nine. Never before had she felt like this, dancing in someone’s arms who led so confidently and so fluidly, so elegantly guiding her through the steps. And of course, never before had she danced with someone sohandsome, nor someone who was looking at her as if she were the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.
