“I had no idea it was like that,” she whispered, gazing up at him with wonder and excitement. “And there is more, is there not?”
“There is much more,” he said with a dark laugh. “But we will not be doing any of it tonight.”
“We will not?” She sounded a little disappointed, and he laughed again, touching the tip of her nose with his finger.
“No,” he murmured. “We will take things slow. That way, you can be sure. About me. And if you want to live as my wife.”
“Of course, I do!” she said at once, and it made his heart swell in his chest.
“You think that,” he said softly, “but there is more you must learn about me. I have not always been perfect, and I want to make sure you really know me before you make that decision.”
He did not mention the other reason: the fact that he did not know if he was worthy to live as her husband. If everything he cared for, everyone he loved, had been ripped from him because he was unable to protect them, then he had to make sure nothing could rip Vanessa away, either. He had to make sure he could protect her. But he didn’t know how to prove that to himself when so far, he had always failed.
Seeing Lord Egerton tonight had not helped with that feeling. It had only reminded him of how he had failed everyone in his life.
“All right,” Vanessa said after a moment, clearly unaware of the tumult inside of Winston. “We can wait. After all, what is a little bit longer when we have the rest of our lives together?”
And with a smile, she kissed his cheek then turned and exited the study, leaving him staring longingly at the place where she had disappeared, his hand touching his cheek.
“I think it is working!” Vanessa gushed to her friends the next day over tea. “I think these lessons in flirtation and confidence are making Winston want to be with me as my husband!”
“That is wonderful,” Lady Selina said, beaming at her from across the tea table while next to her, Phoebe clapped her hands together.
“We knew you had it in you,” Phoebe said, winking.
“Thank you so much for helping me,” Vanessa said. “I could not have done it without your help. After Winston saw my dress last night, he looked at me as if I were the most beautiful woman in the world. And all night, he could not take his eyes off of me. You saw how we danced together the whole night! Thetonwill be gossiping furiously about it, I am sure.”
Phoebe’s eyes sparkled. “They are. Several matrons of thetoneven asked me my opinion on it since I am the Duke’s cousin and known to be your friend. But of course, I did not comment.” She smiled wickedly. “Other than to say you two were clearly besotted of course.”
Vanessa blushed and giggled. “You said that? Truly?”
“Well, it was obvious to anyone who saw you two together.”
“Will it be a terrible scandal?” Vanessa asked, a little worried. Despite everything Winston had said to reassure her, it was hard not to worry about scandal when her parents had always drilled into her how perfectly she must behave to never embarrass them.
“It will be fine,” Phoebe said, waving a hand. “You are still technically on your honeymoon, and thetonis forgiving of new couples that show a little too much affection for one another.”
“What else did he do?” Lady Selina asked Vanessa. “That makes you think he wants to be a real husband to you?”
“Well…” Vanessa began to flush as she leaned conspiratorially toward her friends. “After we got home last night, he kissed me!”
Phoebe actually cheered as Lady Selina laughed and clapped her hands over her mouth.
“Oh, how wonderful!” she said. “I am so happy for you!”
“I am quite jealous,” Phoebe said with a sigh. “Not of being kissed by the Duke—just of being kissed at all.”
Vanessa laughed. “It was the most magical experience of my life. I cannot wait to kiss him again. But he wants to take things slowly. He says that there is more about him I must know first…” she trailed off, looking away. She had spent the night wondering about these words.Could he possibly mean the Vigilantes of Virtue? Or is it something else—something to do with Lord Egerton?
“It is not such a bad thing to take things slowly,” Lady Selina said, smiling gently at her. “I think it is a very considerate thing for the Duke to suggest.”
“Perhaps,” Phoebe said, crossing her arms. “Or he is making it difficult for her to get to know him on purpose. I would not be surprised. He has always pushed everyone away.”
“Has he?” Vanessa asked.
“Certainly. Ever since Clementine died.” Phoebe paused. “You do know about Clementine, do you not?”
“I do,” Vanessa said quickly. “She took her own life ten years ago.”
