“You heard about Egerton, then,” he said. “That is why you came back?”
“Yes,” she murmured. “We heard he died, and I knew that it was time to find you again. I thought that perhaps you would have gotten my message and come to look for me, but you did not…”
“What message?” Winston asked swiftly, his heart leaping. “You tried to get in touch with me?”
“I left you a message inside our mother’s locket,” Clementine said, her eyes wide. “I did not dare to risk anything else, in case Egerton intercepted it. But I thought, perhaps, that you would find it in the locket, because I had removed my portrait and left a note in its stead, the words turned inward so that you would have to pry it out of the locket to read it. But when years went by, and you did not come for me, I realized you had not found it.And I know I should have reached out again, but I was so afraid. So afraid…”
The locket! The one that saved Vanessa’s life! He could scarcely believe it. All that time, she had sent him a message, but he had not thought to look there, even though the fact she had removed her portrait did, now, seem like a clue. And now, of course, it was too late to read it, since it had been destroyed when Langdon had shot Vanessa.
He appreciated knowing that his sister had tried to contact him, but still… She should not have faked her death in the first place. Not when he could have saved her.
“I could have helped you,” Winston said, the tears once more rising inside of him. “Back then, I could have helped you and your son escape him. I know I was only a boy, but I was strong, and I would have done anything to free you of him.”
“I know that now,” she replied, looking down at her feet, and her cheeks turned pink as well as tears came to her eyes. “But I was so scared back then, Winston. I thought no one could defeat him. And when I realized I was with child, I became almost hysterical with fear. Nothing and no one could have talked me into anything else but faking my death.”
He bit back the urge to argue with her and waited, listening.
“Sometimes,” she said slowly, “when we really love someone—when that love is so overwhelming when we feel it might kill us—the way, in other words, that I loved that baby—we lose ourminds in our effort to protect them. That is what happened to me. And I will regret for the rest of my days that I did not let you in on the plan or ask for your help. The pain I must have caused you over the last ten years can only have been enormous. But there is no other way to describe other than that I was seized by a need to protect my child at any cost necessary.
“It does not even always make sense to me, all these years later. But that is what it was like then.”
Very slowly, Winston nodded.
“I think I understand,” he said at last. His thoughts, of course, had gone to Vanessa. “I have felt that kind of love. The overwhelming kind where you would do anything in your power to protect them. Even hurt them.”
Vanessa nodded as well then sat down in the chair next to his desk and took his hand.
“Are you talking about your wife?”
Winston nodded and looked away. “Yes,” he murmured. “I failed her recently. Just like I failed you…” And he told her everything. It was a long tale to tell, starting with when he and Kingsley began to mete out their vigilante justice, and it took him over an hour to recount it all. When he finally had, it was dark outside.
“I am sorry,” he said, shaking his head when the silence had grown too long between them. “You surely do not want to hear this after everything you have been through.”
“On the contrary,” his sister said, “all I want is to know what has happened in your life, and I want to help you with it in any way that I can. All I want now is to be your sister again—if you will have me. If you can forgive me.”
“Oh, Clementine, of course I can forgive you!” he said at once. “I understand why you did what you did. Of course, I wish you had not, but—” He stopped himself short. If he was being honest, he did feel anger toward his sister.Ten yearsshe had made him think she was dead. He took a deep breath.
“Perhaps there will be work to do,” he said after a moment. “Trust will have to be repaired. I will need time to understand why you did not contact me earlier, why you would let me believe you were dead. But it is work I am willing to do because I love you, and I cannot live the next ten years without you.”
“I understand,” she murmured, and she began to cry softly. “I will do anything you need to repair that trust.”
They looked at each other for a moment then she said, “And what about you? Do you think that you are also willing to do anything that is necessary to repair trust with your wife?”
“What? Me?” Winston stared at her, taken aback. “That is not going to happen! Vanessa and I cannot be together. I know you will not agree with me, but it is for her own good.”
“Winston…” Clementine shook her head. “Please, learn from my mistake. In trying to protect you and keep you not implicated in my disappearance, I left you. I let you believe I was dead. I will regret it forever. Do not make that same mistake and push someone you love away to try and save them. It will not work. It will only make them miserable.”
“But…” Winston felt desperate. Scared. Confused. “You do not understand! Everything I touch is ruined. Everyone I love is lost. Mama, you… Vanessa was almost killed because of me!”
“And none of that is your fault,” she said. “Father is responsible for Mama’s early death. Egerton is the reason I left you. This Lord Langdon is the reason for your wife’s brush with death. And yes, while Mama may be gone forever, I am not. And neither is your wife. You must go and tell her how you feel and commit to being with her before she is truly lost to you forever.”
Winston stared at his sister. He wanted to believe her. He wanted so badly to spring to his feet, run out the door, and make haste to London. But what if…
“What if she never forgives me?” he murmured. “For not being strong enough to stay after she was shot?”
“That is the risk you have to take,” Clementine said. “Just like how I had to come here and beg for your forgiveness.”
And suddenly, Winston believed her. Suddenly, he knew she was right. He knew what he had to do.
