‘Is that why you had to come here?’
His face crumpled.‘They took her before I could bring her here.I should never have left her,’ he choked out.
‘It wasn’t your fault.’I reached out to touch his arm.
Cillian stepped back, and something shrivelled inside me.
‘You need to go.One word from that soldier and they will come for you.’His words were rushed.
‘No.I don’t want to leave.’
‘I couldn’t live with myself if you were taken too.’His hands wrapped around my upper arms as he looked at me pleadingly.‘If you care for me at all, you will leave and never return.Please.’
I didn’t want to cause him more pain, but the tournament was tomorrow, and this could be my only chance to find the revenge I had been seeking for ten winters.My eyes burned as I fought back tears.Cillian deserved better than me.
The sun was setting, giving me an excuse to stay a little longer.‘I’ll go,’ I lied.‘In the morning, when it’s light.’
‘What if they come at night?’he asked, shaking his head.
‘I’ll sleep with the horses.If they come, I will jump on Nightmare and leave before they can catch me.’
I held my breath, waiting.
He looked out the shop window at the fading light.‘Fine,’ he said on a rough exhale.‘But I’ll stay in the barn with you.’
‘There’s not enough room for both of us with the horses.Wouldn’t it be better if you were in the forge where you can see the street?That way, there will be time for you to warn me.’
He was silent for so long that I thought he would still insist I leave tonight.
Thankfully, he nodded and insisted on helping me pack my things so I would be ready to leave at daybreak.I grabbed my weapons while he packed provisions.
Lying to him made me despise myself, and losing him would hurt, but I owed my mother justice.
We packed everything I needed into my saddlebags and readied Nightmare for travel.Cillian’s eyes widened when I grabbed his hand without warning.
His broad palm was rough with calluses from swinging hammers all day.I brought his hand up to my cheek and stared into his warm brown eyes, hoping never to forget them.His lips parted as I turned my head and gently pressed a kiss to his palm.
‘Thank you,’ I choked out through rising tears.
Please don’t hate me for doing this.
‘Goodnight, Caris,’ he whispered.Then he walked away, holding my kiss in his clenched fist.
CHAPTER 6
When I’d woken up the previous morning, my biggest concern was seeing Torgrin again and whether he would think the sword I’d made for Lord Warwick was worth what he was paying for it.I never imagined that I would lose control of the Darkness in the middle of the street in front of witnesses.When I’d seen those barrels hurtling towards the little girl and her mother, I had let my instincts take over.
I still didn’t know how I did what I did.The Darkness was always with me, but I never let it roam too far, even just to experiment.Trepidation kept me from it, and after seeing what had happened to Millie and what Cillian had revealed about his wife, I knew I had been right to fear it.
I’d never met another Cursed woman in all the years I lived along the Red River.There were whispers about Cursed healers like Cillian’s wife and Millie, but no-one dared to name names knowing the penalty was death.
The first rays of light appeared in the sky as I lay in the hay.I rose to unpack some food and clothes from Nightmare’s saddle bag and checked that I hadn’t forgotten my bow.There was something elseI needed before I left.The problem was it hung in the shop next to the forge where Cillian slept.
I took Nightmare with me and left her down the street out of sight.Then I entered the shop as quietly as possible, approaching the armour and helmet that hadn’t been collected.I had written up the order for myself under another name.I included my measurements, and additional details like a fully closed helmet.Not having complete visibility created extra risk, but I needed to conceal that I was a woman.My body was solid and tall, and while my wrapped breasts and the curve of my hips could be obscured under armour, my face would give me away.My high cheekbones, small nose and full lips were too feminine to try to pass as a young man.I would keep my helmet on for as long as possible, and only hope that I wouldn’t be forced to reveal my identity.
I muttered and swore under my breath, failing to be quiet as I struggled into the chain mail and armour without help.
Cillian could storm in at any moment and demand to know what I was doing.
