I was barely off my horse before Cillian had his arms wrapped around me.His comfort engulfed me instantly.Cillian lowered his mouth to mine, giving me a soft, lingering kiss that had my toes curling.When I came up for air, I saw Torgrin watching us.Cillian turned his head to look at him too.
‘Thank you,’ Cillian said to him, throat tight.
Torgrin nodded.Then without a word, he took Nightmare’s reins and left to take care of the horses.
Cillian led me to a small pond to bathe and fill my empty water pouch.We made love in the long grass.He was unhurried and adoring, making me cry out in pleasure, the sound scattering the birds from nearby trees.When I came down from the bliss of our lovemaking, he held me and whispered, ‘I’m sorry for leaving you.’
‘I ordered you to go.I wanted to give you and Bethel a chance to escape.’
‘As soon as we left, I wanted to return for you.’He sat up and threw a pebble into the water.
I sat up beside him and rubbed my cheek across the smooth skin of his bare shoulder.‘I made an oath to protect Bethel, Cillian – and when I couldn’t do that, I asked you to do it for me.You did exactly what I needed you to do, and I love you for that.’
Cillian’s eyes shone.‘You love me?’
I nodded, then pressed my lips to his astounded smile.
‘I never thought I would find love after Hannah.The thought of losing someone I love again because I wasn’t there nearly killed me.’
‘You didn’t lose me,’ I soothed, running the back of my hand over his bristly cheek.‘You have changed me,’ I admitted.‘I’ve spent my life pushing people away.’I had even resisted my parents’ affections, but just like Cillian, they would not allow me to do so for long.
I felt unworthy of love, but I craved it too.‘You made me feel safe enough to ask for comfort and love.Something I felt I would never deserve.’
‘You deserve love, Caris.’He cupped my face with call used blacksmith’s hands and gazed into my eyes.‘You know he’s in love with you, too, don’t you?’
I shook my head, my face reddening with guilt as I remembered how I woke up in Torgrin’s arms at dawn.
‘I’m glad of it.It means he will keep you safe when I can’t.’Cillian released my face and reclined on the grass, his fingers locking behind his head.
‘I can look after myself!’
‘Says the woman who was kidnapped yesterday.’
I punched him lightly in the chest, and he laughed.This is why I love him, I thought, as I drowned in his honey-brown eyes.He made it so easy.
The cold soon forced us back into our clothes, and we returned to camp.I ate and drank so much that it garnered the attentionof everyone around me.Sitting a little too close to Torgrin for my liking, Bethel – for once – did not remark on my ferocious appetite.But when she placed a delicate hand on his knee, the Darkness rose and pushed against the door I tried to keep firmly locked.
As I sat and watched them together, the image of a dark-haired woman weeping over a man’s dead body rose.
I had almost told Torgrin about the dream during our ride back, but I decided it was too strange, even for me.
I smiled when I saw Torgrin shake Bethel’s hand off his knee, and the Darkness retreated.I happily returned to my meal with gusto.
†
We reached the edge of Danu Woods, only days away from Capita.Towering ancient trees filled the forest, casting long shadows that swallowed the feeble winter sun.I was up early on an especially chilly morning, leaving Cillian and Torgrin, who had both moved close to keep me warm during the night.
While relieving myself, I saw that the morning frost had enclosed the plants around us in ice crystals.I’d never seen something so beautiful.Watching my breath hang in the cold air captivated me.Soon, I was puffing out air like a chimney for my amusement.
Walking a short distance from the camp, I found myself in a meadow where the blades of grass had turned white and crunched under my boots.I crouched to watch a majestic stag rub his impressive antlers on a twisted tree.
He came looking for me.I didn’t need to see to know it was Torgrin beside me – the humming in my chest told me he was near.We watched the stag together in silence.
With the rising sun, the frost soon transformed into tiny droplets, shimmering like diamonds before evaporating.I looked around sadly as all that was frosty became green once more.
Torgrin’s deep voice broke the silence.‘In Ephemeros, it gets so cold in winter, entire lakes freeze over.’
‘Really?’I turned to find his hair messy from sleep, and I had to resist the urge to reach out and tame his inky locks.
