‘If you would like to learn more, Lady Caris, I would happily escort you to Brother Merrick’s morning sermons.’
I would rather stab a darning needle in my ear.
‘You are too kind, Your Majesty, but as you know, I’m here as Bethel’s lady-in-waiting, and I must remain at her side.’
The king finally released me and, with a curtsy that Ania would be pleased with, I left to weave through the drunken nobles to find Torgrin.
He was watching Bethel closely as she received offers to dance.Soon she was twirling around the dance floor when the music began again.
‘King Hared sure likes to preach on behalf of the Order,’ I muttered so only he could hear me.Torgrin clenched his jaw and remained silent, while we stood side by side.
Torgrin’s silence rankled.I had kept myself in check – at least outwardly – when he had warned me.Did he not understand what it took for me to do nothing at the sight of Merrick?Why was he angry with me?
It was late when we got back to the Warwick family rooms.I strode past Bethel and Torgrin to my bedchamber.I was removing my boots when Torgrin came crashing through my door.He came right up to me and pulled me to my feet.
‘What in damnation were youthinking, Caris?’he gritted out, holding my upper arms in a death grip.I ignored the pain of his fingers digging into me.‘You’re supposed to keep a low profile and watch Bethel.Instead, you’re dancing with the king!’He lightly shook me as he spoke.
‘Did you know he was here?’The words were bitter on my tongue.
‘Caris …’ He let go of my arms and ran his hands through his hair.
‘Did you?’I shouted.
‘No!’he yelled back.‘Of course not,’ he said, lowering his voice and fighting to regain control.
‘I sat there and did nothing!I just let him live!’I pushed my palms into the sides of my head and squeezed tight.Torgrin pulled my punishing hands away from my temples.
‘You can’t attack him, Caris.You will put all of us in jeopardy if you kill King Hared’s right hand.’
‘Stop telling me what I can and can’t do!’I shook off his hands.
‘Would you risk the lives of the whole Warwick family?And what about you?You think they would let you walk free if you just up and killed Merrick?’
I looked at him, feeling guilty.I would never risk the lives of any member of the Warwick family – even Bethel.
‘I don’t know if I can control it.’I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the Darkness pressing me to search out Merrick even now.
‘Yes, you can, Caris.You did it tonight and I’m grateful for it.You have been searching for Merrick, and here he is, and it kills me that I’m asking you to let that piece of shit breathe for another second.’His hands came up to cup my face.‘I promise I will help you end him when the time is right.’
I had less control than he gave me credit for.I might need more than his promise.‘You are asking too much of me,’ I growled.
He dropped his hands from my face.‘Don’t you think I want the man dead too?The things he did to me and Atlas when I was too young to stop him still haunt me.’
His raw admission was a cold bucket of water to my anger, and the Darkness retreated.‘Torgrin?’I reached for him, but he stepped back, his fists tightly clenched at his sides.
‘We need to stick to the plan and leave here alive.You need to stay away from Merrick.’
It would take every ounce of self-control I possessed to stop me from finding the man and burying my father’s knife in him.But for Torgrin, I would wait.
He ran his fingers through his hair, causing the inky strands to stick out in every direction.‘You have garnered King Hared’s interest and it must stop.We can’t have him discovering what you are capable of.’
His words stung because I hadn’t deliberately sought out King Hared’s attention.
Torgrin walked to the door.‘Bethel did as I asked, and the king is allowing her to see Queen Yaris tomorrow.I want you to be there,’ he said, the order in his tone clear.
I turned my back on him.He exhaled harshly before openingthe door and leaving.His boots echoed down the corridor before I heard the main door open and close.
I woke in the middle of the night from a fretful sleep to see that Torgrin had come to my bed.Despite how unsettled things were between us, I didn’t resist when he pulled me into his arms.Like a soothing balm, his presence allowed me to fall into a more restful sleep.When I woke in the morning, he was gone.
