She looked at him. He was tall, he was sturdy, he was dependable, he had boy-next-door classic good looks, he’d always made her laugh, he had an adorable Irish accent, he was nice, and since they’d met he’d always beenhers, her rock.
And he’d also never lied to her, she’d always believed.
And now it felt like, while he hadn’t outright lied, he also hadn’t been totally honest with her.
A memory suddenly came to her. ‘We talked once about that New Year’s Eve. When we were trying to work out if we ever met when we were both in Glasgow.’
Declan nodded.
‘And you didn’t mention then that you’d shagged someone that evening.’ Even as she spoke, she realised that it was a silly point to make. It had been about their third date and very few people would mention a previous one-night stand in that scenario.
‘That is true. It was like our third date when we had that conversation, and it had happened nine years before. And I didn’t feel like it was a great thing to mention at that point. I was with a girl who I knew from the moment I met her I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And it was nothing. A drunken one-off that I could barely remember. It didn’t seem relevant. Obviously it’s turned out that itwasrelevant, and I’m so sorry that this has all come as such a difficult surprise.’
‘I realise now that it was just a coincidence.’ Poppy couldn’t help wondering whether he’d seen both Poppy and Georgie at the party and chosen Georgie over her. But, actually, that was ridiculous. Maybe he had. Maybe he hadn’t. But it didn’t mean anything, did it? It had been a long time ago and they’d been in fancy dress, and, yes, it just really didn’t mean anything.
But the one-night stand thing. She’d just realised what else had been niggling at her.
‘You and I waited,’ she said. ‘We waited two months even though we both said afterwards that we’d known almost immediately that we were falling in love with each other and we were spending every day together.Youdidn’t want to jump into bed quickly, you said.’ Thathurt. Obviously, relationships were about personalities and it was shallow to care about your husband finding you sexually attractive, except physical attractiondidmatter. Why had he wanted to have one-night stands with other people but not with her?
‘That… is… true.’ He was choosing his words carefully, like he had in the car after go-karting. ‘But it was because I realised that I was inlovewith you. One-night stands mean nothing. I didn’t want it to mean nothing with you. I wanted a long-term relationship with you and I wanted it to be special and at the right time. I wanted to get to know you really well beforehand. The day I met you, I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I justknew.’ He stopped andran his hands through his hair, and then continued, ‘I’d never… never felt like that with anyone before. It’s… it’s always been only you, Poppy.’
Andthatwas what had been on the edge of her thoughts. His searching for the right words had reminded her.
‘Declan. In the car, after go-karting, this was what you were talking about then. And, I mean, you gave me a very different impression. Who was the woman you were with?’
He hesitated and then said, ‘Your friend, Anya.’
‘You were with my friend Anya?’ Poppy was stunned. How did he even know Anya? And why? And he’d met her behind her back?
‘I was trying to find out about Georgie and Max from her.’
‘You were…’ Poppy could barely find the words to express her thoughts. ‘Did you tell Anya about your suspicions?’
‘Only in a very roundabout way.’
‘What?’ She stared at him. ‘How could you possibly think it was okay to tell heranythingthat you hadn’t told me?’ Something else occurred to her. ‘How did you get in touch with her?’
‘I found her number in your phone.’
‘What?’
‘Poppy, I know, I know it soundsterrible, and I am so truly sorry, but I had the best of intentions. I didn’t want to upset you and that’s why I did all of this. I am so, so sorry.’
He reached his hands out to her across the table and she just looked at them. She physically couldn’t make herself take them right now. She was just sohurt.
‘Declan, I cannot believe that you would confide in a woman you don’t evenknowinstead of in me.’
‘I know.’ He shook his head. ‘I’m a complete idiot. But you’d been seeming quite… low, I suppose… and I didn’t want to add to your misery.’
‘Patronising, would you say?’
‘I… Yes… Probably. Poppy, I love you. I have no other words. I am so incredibly sorry.’
Poppy looked into the face that she loved so much.
She felt so, so hurt and betrayed.
‘I think I need to be alone,’ she said.
