‘I’ve missed her.’ Emma’s in the driving seat and jiggling the key in the ignition and we’re back to the same routine that I now realise she probably does every time.
‘I have a few questions,’ I say.
‘Mmm?’ She’s concentrating on coaxing the engine into life. It suddenly starts and she says, ‘Thank goodness.’
‘Yeah, thank goodness. That leads me on to my first question.’ I watch her as she manoeuvres us out of the clearing and I have to say that for someone who only passed their test three months ago she’s doing a good job of it; it can’t be easy to drive a vehicle as old and with such a terrible turning circle as this. ‘How many times has—’ I cannot bring myself to sayMiranda‘—it failed completely to start?’
‘None.’ Emma’s tone is triumphant.
I decide not to point out that there’s a first time for everything. I’m really going to have to hope that we aren’t heading towards another enforced stay somewhere while we get the engine fixed.
‘Another question I have is, just: Miranda? Is that a new name for her – it – today? I don’t think you called it that yesterday?’
‘I feel like the ice between us has been broken,’ she says. ‘And yesterday I felt like you’d judge me for calling her Miranda.’
What, like I’m not judging her now?
‘So it – she – is always called Miranda?’
‘Yes.’ Emma’s tone turns saccharine. ‘I thinkallvehicles have souls and you just have to find the right name for them. Alsotrees, obviously. And also wooden furniture because it comes from trees.’
I stare at her and she looks straight ahead serenely as she drives us back towards the monastery and the garage.
‘That’s… great,’ I say eventually.
‘Ha, ha, ha.’ Emma cackles. ‘No, I do not believe that vehicles have souls. But the previous owner was very fond of Miranda and said he would only sell her to me if I promised to continue to call her by her given name. And so I do.’
‘Because you don’t want to break a promise to a man who cannot see you?’
‘Mirandacan see me. And shh, she can hear, too. Stop being so rude.’
‘Sorry,’ I say, and she grins, and I realise that over the past twenty-four hours we’ve wound up in a place we’ve never been in before: two separate, very much not-a-couple people, who could be quite good friends. Very good friends, I think.
I don’twantto be friends with her, though, if I’m honest; it’s too weird. And also, I could easily allow myself to slip into a more-than-friends situation, because what’s not to, frankly, adore about her?
Obviously, she might not feel the same way; for all I know she’s looking at me the whole time going: what was Ithinking? Even if she is, though, I’m just not going there. That would be one of the most stupid things I’ve ever done (and when I was younger I did a lot of stupid things). You should never go back. And we demonstrated quite comprehensively when we were young that we weren’t right for each other. And what if being with her made me stupid again? I’d just hurt her, and myself, all over again.
Stupid to even think of it.
Now we’ve left the monastery we can easily not talk much and obviously we’ll have separate rooms for however manymore nights we’re on the road, and, yep, it would have to be a conscious decision to go down any kind of romantic route.
Not going there.
8
EMMA
When we arrive at the garage, there’s no one to be seen initially.
Callum and I both get out and look around. There’s still no one to be seen.
‘You have to be fecking joking,’ Callum almost howls. ‘We are never, ever going to get out of here.’
‘So when Azim told you that I was happy to give you a lift, did he give you a time frame?’ I keep meaning to ask that question and then get distracted. ‘I feel like you’re a lot less keen than I am to sightsee in Florence.’ One of the few good things about Callum as a travel companion is that I know him very well – well,knewhim, but I don’t think people’s basic personalities change that much – and I know I don’t have to pussyfoot around with him. ‘I’m getting the impression that you just want to get straight back to London as fast as you can. Which obviously makes sense given that if it hadn’t been for the ash you’d have just got a plane yesterday.’ I’m thinking out loud now.
‘Well, yes, obviously I was expecting to be home yesterday.’ He looks at me. ‘But I refuse to cause you in any way to cut your trip short and it sounds a lot of fun—’ I don’t think I’ve ever heard him sound so fake when he’s trying to be sincere ‘—andso I’d love to accompany you on the rest of it, if you’re happy to have me. And obviously when you’re passing through a major city I could of course hop out of the van if there are any other transport options.’
Another good thing about Callum is that he’s always made me laugh, and now is no exception, although usually he’s intending to be funny, and he definitely wasn’t trying to be just now.
