‘Okay. I spy with my little eye something beginning with… C.’
‘Car?’ I’m already bored but I am actually awake.
‘Yes, you’re a genius.’
‘That was ridiculous. Do a harder one.’
‘Okay.’ He looks around for a moment. ‘Right. M-D-B-W-I-H.’
‘What? That’s ridiculous too.’
‘You asked for a harder one. You have to do it. It’ll keep you awake.’
I really can’t think of anything so I just stare into the distance.
‘Emma!’ Callum’s voice cuts into my sleepiness. ‘You have to focus. Okay. That was too hard.’
‘What was it?’
‘I can’t remember. I can’t even remember what letters I had. It’s been minutes.’
‘That issofrustrating.’
‘Yeah,’ he says, ‘you seemed so invested as you nearly nodded off. Okay, now I’m going to be a famous person. You have to guess who I am.’
‘Okay,’ I say, ‘but you can’t be really annoying with it. It can’t be too obvious. You can’t be the king or Taylor Swift, but also you can’t be too niche. Like don’t do a sports person or politician I’ve barely heard of.’
‘Okay.’
‘Also: don’t do anyone I don’t like. That always really annoys me.’
‘How will I know whether or not you like them, though?’
‘I mean, it’s obvious. I like nice people and I don’t like mean people. And I don’t like rudeness.’
‘Right.’ Callum sounds a teensy bit as though he might be rolling his eyes. ‘Okay. I’m ready.’
Several minutes later, I’m yelling ‘Claudia Winkleman,’ triumphantly, just as we pass a sign saying the services are one kilometre away, thankgoodness. ‘That was a good one.’
‘Thank you. I don’t want to blow my own trumpet too much but I do have to say that I’m widely known as being a master at choosing exactly the right famous person.’
‘How often do youplaythis game?’
He hesitates and then says, ‘I know a lot of kids.’
Maybe it’s tiredness, maybe it was inevitable all along, but I hear myself asking a personal question: ‘Which kids? How old are they? How often do you play it?’
Okay, that’s more than one personal question.
Callum hesitates more. For ages. And then he says, ‘Girls. They range in age.’
I want to question him some more but we’re turning off now and I just want to find the services and not go the wrong way, so I start speculating about which exact exit to take from the roundabout that pops up in front of us and then Callum starts talking about service stations in great detail, exactly as though he’s changing the subject.
9
CALLUM
What was Ithinking? Why would I mention children?
