I’m very impressed.
‘Oh my goodness,’ I say a minute later when we get round the corner and see the hotel. It’s in a very historic-looking building, with a big revolving door with a liveried man standing outside. It’s all very black and gold and shiny. There are well-kept window boxes containing gorgeous bright purple and red flowers. There’s classic-but-discreet lettering. It’ssofancy.
We’re ushered inside by the liveried man and over to the polished dark wood reception desk. Inside, there’s a lot of gold and shiny marble floor tiles and panelled walls. You’d think it would be overwhelming, but it isn’t; it’s just gorgeous.
‘This is lovely,’ I say.
‘I know.’ Callum’s smug smile is very endearing. ‘Wait until you see the pool.’ He did suggest that I put a costume in the bag I packed for tonight, so I did think there might be a pool but I didnotthink the hotel would be likethis.
The bedroom is more of the same classic luxury. (Since the first time we shared, we’ve been in the same room every night as a matter of course without even discussing it.)
The first thing we do, after we’ve bounced a bit on the bed (and then stolen a quick cuddle) and exclaimed about the veryfancy bathroom and exclusive view over a very beautiful square, is go for a swim in the rooftop infinity pool.
After a few lengths and some messing around with Callum, I climb out to have a little rest on one of the loungers. I wrap myself in one of the super-deep-pile towels they’ve provided for guests and lie back and watch him.
These past few days we’ve seen a lot of amazing scenery and wonderful architecture, as well as some cool, quirky things, some of which I won’t necessarily ever have the opportunity to see again, and most of the time I’ve had to force myself to look at the sights rather than at Callum. The actual real-life thing of not being able to get enough of someone.
As I watch him now, he’s powering through the pool in a very efficient front crawl, and I feel myself shivering with pleasure at the thought that I get to spend all this time with him, be with him, talk to him,lovehim.
He executes a very professional-looking turn at the end of his lap; he’sgood.
Did I know he was such a good swimmer? I’m not sure I did. Now I think about it, I don’t think we ever went proper swimming in the three years we were together – well, we can’t have done; I would have remembered – and I thought he only did football and tennis, sports-wise.
I like that we still have stuff like this to learn about each other. What I don’t like so much, I realise, is that we still haven’t caught up on all the big life stuff that’s happened over the past twelve years, and I feel as though it’s more Callum than me now stopping us from having those conversations.
But maybe he’s right. Maybe that would spoil this holiday together.
We can talk about it all when we get back to London. I am now, I realise, pretty sure that we’re going to be together when we get home. I know that Callum said that definitely wouldn’t bethe case, but that was before we’d spent so much amazing time together.
I think maybe he was scared that one – or both – of us would get hurt and that’s why he said the fling thing, but surely now he can see that that wouldn’t be the case. I mean, we aregoodtogether.
‘Come back in for a few more minutes?’ Callum calls and I nod and stand up, before sliding back into the pool and stopping with the thinking.
After our swim, we shower (together) in our en-suite, and then I put on my favourite dress (Callum said we’re going to eat dinner somewhere nice) and almost skip downstairs with him due to the happiness practically bubbling out of me.
He’s organised the most wonderful evening. I told him a few days ago about how the only other time I’ve been to Paris I was fourteen and on a school trip and missed everything that the teachers had arranged for us because I spent most of it being sick in the bathroom in our youth hostel after a dodgy chicken sandwich on the ferry. So he’s booked us into some touristy things.
We take abateau mouchealong the river, we wander the historic streets and I do actually take my eyes off Callum long enough to fall in love with Paris too, and then we take a cab to the Eiffel Tower, where Callum’s booked for us to have dinner in the second-floor restaurant, from where the views are fantastic.
Over dinner we again talk about everything but also, as usual, it’s very much nothing.
And then, as we sip coffees and eat the most amazing little truffle chocolates, Callum puts his cup down and leans in.
He looks me very intently in the eyes, and I suddenly get the feeling that he’s about to say something that’s a lot more everything than nothing. I put my own cup down.
‘Emma, you need to know that I love you,’ he says, taking both my hands in his. ‘More than words can ever say.’
My heart makes the most gigantic leap inside me, almost into my mouth.
‘I love you too,’ I tell him. I’m bordering on tearful. There isn’t a shadow of a doubt in my mind that I love him, deeply, irrevocably, forever. I recovered from him, eventually, after the end of our relationship, and I moved on, but now I know that I never stopped loving him, I just learned to live without him. And now I think I’ve unlearnt that, very fast. ‘I’m so glad that we re-met like this.’
Callum – a little bit weirdly – doesn’t reply, but maybe he’s just struggling to find words around the emotion we’re both feeling. That must be it; I see his Adam’s apple working as he sits there silently and his eyes moisten a tiny bit. I can feel tears spiking at the backs of my own eyes, and I sniff.
I’m opening my mouth to say what a wonderful evening this has been (and probably something else about loving Callum because it’s the kind of sentiment that you can’t stop repeating once you’ve started it) when the moment is annoyingly broken as I’m clunked on the head by the very weighty handbag of the woman on the next table as she stands to leave. (What does shehavein there? I honestly think it must be agunor something.)
‘Ow.’ I’m no longer gazing into Callum’s eyes; I’m slightly seeing stars.
‘Shall we get the bill?’ Callum asks and I nod, suddenly keen to get back to the hotel and be alone and cement our declaration by making love, which I think will be huge, given that it’s the first time since we reconnected that we’vetoldeach other we love each other.
