Honestly, it’s very annoying that Becca’s such a lovely, empathetic person that she’s noticed. I don’t want to ruin Rose’s upcoming first birthday party, which Becca’s already mentioned (Rose is already nine months old; they waited for me to comeback from my trip to do her christening) or any other future occasions that they want godparents at.
‘No, not at all!’ I exclaim. ‘Callum’s lovely. He was a great travel companion. He’s brilliant at map reading, which was really helpful, and, yes, just really nice. Very nice.’ I look at Becca and read doubt on her face andfucking hell. I can see very clearly what, as a good friend and godmother, I am going to have to do now.
I am going to have to have a chummy-looking conversation with Callum.
‘You’re right that I haven’t had much opportunity to speak to him today,’ I tell her. ‘Izzy and I were talking to Rob for most of lunch; he’s hilarious, such good company. And I think Callum was busy talking to Thea. It’s obviously always special for him whenever he’s able to spend time with her.’
Which is clearly true.
I’m getting into my stride now; any minute I’m going to be believing every word that comes out of my own mouth.
‘Eek. I can see that Callum’s leaving. Let me go and just have a quick chat with him now before he goes.’
‘Yes, go, quick,’ Becca says. I honestly think she believed me, thank goodness.
I make my way over to Callum, where he’s standing near the door with Thea, looking in my direction, a bit rabbit-in-headlights, probably feeling exactly the way I do: we don’t want to speak but we’re going to have to.
He’s wearing a suit, as he was the last time we said goodbye, on Tuesday, in Paris.
And just like then, he looks extremely tense, and as though he’s having difficulty looking me in the eye.
He clearly clocks that I want to have an actual conversation, because he bends down to his daughter and says, ‘Thea,gorgeous girl, why don’t you pop over and ask Becca if you give can Rose that cuddle you wanted before we leave.’
‘Okay.’ Thea skips off.
‘She’s lovely, and so well-behaved,’ I say truthfully.
Callum’s demeanour lightens for a moment. ‘Yeah, she is.’
I don’t bother with any more pleasantries. I check that there’s no one within earshot, and say, ‘So the reason that I came over to speak to you is that Becca just asked me if we hated each other on the journey because she’s noticed that we’ve basically ignored each other all day. And she’s already told me that she wants godparents at Rose’s first birthday and I’m guessing she might want us at other events over the years. And we can’t ruin things for them. So we need to have a little happy-looking chat now so they won’t feel awkward about inviting us to things.’
Callum nods. ‘You’re right.’ He takes a deep breath and then he produces a fairly shit fake laugh and says, ‘That’shilarious. Honestly, you and your stories.’
‘What?’ I hiss. ‘That wascrap. That was the fakest-looking laugh I’ve ever seen. Andwhat? Me and my stories? Are we from the nineteen-seventies?’
‘Did they say that in the nineteen-seventies?’
‘I don’t bloody know, do I, but they definitely don’t say it in the twenty-twenties.’
‘Who’s they?’
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’ I glare at him and then say, ‘Watch this for a really good fake laugh.’ And then I relax my face muscles and produce what I’m pretty sure is anamazinglygenuine-looking laugh.
‘Thatwasgood,’ Callum concedes.
‘Thank you. I am actually an excellent actress even if I say it myself.’ And then, I don’t know what comes over me, I think it must be the general crapness of the situation having got to me, I say, ‘I can convincingly fake allkindsof things.’
And then Callum apparently loses his mind as much as I’ve lost mine, because he says, ‘I’m pretty sure you weren’t fakingthingsthis week.’
And then we stare at each other and Callum says, ‘Yeah, I don’t know why I said that,’ and I say, ‘Me neither.’
There’s a long pause, during which we just carry on staring at each other, before I finish, loudly, with, ‘Oh, no, such a shame that you have to leave so soon. But let’s catch up in London.’
‘Definitely,’ Callum replies, also loudly. ‘I need to introduce you to my local. Have a good journey back. Are you in the van?’
‘Always,’ I say.
‘Great, then.’
