‘I know.’ She grins at me before getting off.
I open my bag and take out my phone and send Callum a message saying:
I lied.
21
CALLUM
I’m in a huge rush to make it to pick Thea up from her party on time because I stayed at Azim and Becca’s for longer than I should have done, waiting for Emma to leave so that I could make a gigantic arse of myself asking her out.
Marvellous all round.
I think about Emma for the entire journey.
I’mguttedthat she got back with her ex.
They got back together in Paris. In fucking Paris. Right after I walked out of her life. The night after our last perfect evening together.
I don’t think I’m being arrogant to feel that it’s entirely my fault, that we could be together now if I hadn’t walked away at that point.
I am the most stupid person I’ve ever met.
I just threw away an opportunity to be happy.
Well, there we go. I was thinking back there that I’ve grown up and that maybe I no longer wreck things. Wrong, clearly.
I really hope Emma’s happy.
Maybe this is for the best. For her, anyway. And I do very much want her to be very happy.
Okay. I am not going to fuck up and be late for Thea on top of the Emma debacle.
Having taken every back route and cheeky dodge that I know of and crossed London in record time, I squeeze the car into a parking space a ten-minute walk from the party, and sprint, arriving only a couple of minutes late.
That’s definitely my biggest win of the day so far, and it’s made even better when Thea, on sight of me, breaks into a huge smile. I might be a complete idiot but my daughter loves me and I got here for her, and in this moment not a lot else counts.
I’m taking her for pizza before returning her to her mum in time for her to get an earlyish night before school tomorrow morning. I have a rule that I won’t look at my phone when I’m eating with her and I’m certainly not going to be breaking it this evening because I don’t want to fuck up anything else in my life.
As we approach the pizza place, my phone vibrates. Maybe it’s Emma.
I’msopissed off about her getting back with her ex. It didn’t really occur to me that she’d have a partner. But why wouldn’t she? What an arrogant, stupid idiot I’ve been. I wonder if that messagewasfrom her. No, of course it wasn’t.
After I’ve parked and we’re getting out of the car, I take a cursory glance at my screen; I’ll read and reply to any messages when I’ve said goodbye to Thea later but I can’t help wanting to confirm that Emma hasn’t for some reason been in touch.
One message – from Emma – stands out.
I lied.
What? I can’t drag my eyes away from the screen. My fingers are literally itching to reply to ask what she means.
‘Daddy, are we going?’
God. I’m not jeopardising my relationship with Thea in any way, including in ignoring her so that I can attempt to sort out my messed-up not-a-relationship with Emma.
‘Sorry, Thea.’ I push my phone into my pocket and lock the car.
I can’t help wondering, though, as we walk to the restaurant, what Emma means. She lied about what?
