‘And you’re… single?’
‘Yep.’ I’m trying not to laugh at the interrogation.
‘So it’s lovely that you came this evening.’
I nod very seriously. ‘It’s certainly an evening to remember.’
‘Although we’re going to have to leave soon, I think,’ Nadia says.
‘Nooooo. What about the dancing at the end?’ Marisa says. ‘You have to stay.’
‘We have another… thing… to go to,’ I say. I feel that a whole evening could be alotof pretending that might catch one or both of us out. I’m sure we can manage that in due course, but maybe we should work our way up to it.
‘Yes, a thing,’ Nadia says.
‘So, Tom, where do you live?’ Marisa isn’t letting go of the interrogation.
‘Clapham.’ I feel as though this is a very strange conversation. I don’t think I’m usually a mono-syllabist. ‘In a flat,’ I elaborate. ‘On my own.’ Okay, no, also weird.
‘Meeting at Waterloo the way you did is such a gorgeous meet-cute,’ Marisa says.
‘Meet-cute?’ I ask.
‘It’s a romcom term,’ Nadia supplies. ‘Marisa and I love a romcom.’
‘What’s your favourite kind of film?’ Marisa asks sternly, which makes me laugh out loud. I love that she’s such a caring friend to Nadia (if a little scarily intense).
Nadia’s looking at me very enquiringly too. Apparently I need to answer the question seriously.
‘I don’t really have strong film preferences. But if I had to choose I’d maybe go for one of those drama-documentaries. Or a war film. As in a historical one.’
‘Good,’ Marisa approves. Nadia nods too.
‘What would have been a bad answer?’ I ask.
‘I mean.’ Nadia looks at me as though I’m mad. ‘The obvious. Extreme violence.’
‘Or a weirdly babyish love of kids’ films.’ Marisa is not tolerant apparently. ‘And a lot of porn.’
‘No-one would really admit that, would they?’ I point out.
Marisa narrows her eyes. ‘Doyou watch porn? I can allow a certain amount, but we need to know that no actors were abused during the making of it. And beyond a certain point it’s too much.’
I find myself saying, ‘I do not,’ which, frankly, feels like too much information.
Nadia’s shaking her head. ‘Marisa. Outrageous. Tom can watch as much porn as he likes. Or not. I mean, it’s nothing to do with us.’
‘Well, it’s something to do withyou.’ Marisa opens her mouth to say more and Nadia puts her hands over her ears.
‘No. Honestly, no.’ She looks at me. I’m just laughing. ‘Tom and I have known each other for five days.’
‘You should get to know each other better,’ Marisa tells us. ‘Porn habits are one of the first things any couple should talk about.’
‘On that note,’ I suggest, ‘shall we go to that dinner and talk on the way?’
‘Good idea.’ Nadia hugs Marisa and says she’ll see her tomorrow, and then we begin to make our way towards the exit, with Marisa yelling at our backs not to forget what we need to be talking about.
As we exit, alotof people we didn’t encounter on our way in are interested to meet me. Apparently Nadia and her unfortunate dating history are very well known in her office.
