‘So,’ I say.
She takes a step towards me and I take one towards her and then she gets her phone and holds it at arm’s length and kind of tilts her head up towards mine and I tilt mine down towards hers, very, very conscious that we’re really very close to each other now and that I can smell that lovely shampoo she uses and that if one of us moved just a very little we could easily actually kiss, which is just extremely odd.
‘Smile,’ she says and takes a few photos.
Then she brings the phone back in and we look at the images.
‘Erm.’ She looks at me. ‘Do you not have a photo smile? Like one that looks like you’re actually smiling?’
‘Erm. Do you not either?’
We both peer at her screen again. Yep. We both look… pained, I think is the best word.
‘Yes, fair enough,’ she says. ‘Webothlook incredibly fake. Maybe we can have another go?’
‘Yep, no problem. Natural-looking smiles it is.’ I can do a photo smile. People want photos and selfies all the time and I see the results of the photos I’m in and Icanlook like I’m smiling perfectly photo-naturally. I really can.
I really cannot remember how, though, right now.
I focus on the very beautiful hotel building beyond the gardens and produce a perfect photo smile, and then, holding it, look at Nadia.
Nadia presses her lips together.
‘What?’ I say, still perfect-photo-smiling.
‘It’s just…’ For some reason she looks as though she’s trying not to laugh.
‘Just take the photo,’ I instruct. I’m not joking, it’s genuinely hurting a little holding the smile for so long.
‘Erm. Okay.’ She moves closer to me and clicks away.
The photos are not good. One of us looks not at all as though he is smiling naturally for a photo – he actually looks as though he’s trying to prove that he isn’t hungover or maybe desperate for the loo – and the other looks as though she’s trying really hard not to laugh.
Now, sheislaughing.
‘How is that so hard?’ she splutters through her sniggers.
‘It’s the on-demand nature of it,’ I explain.
‘All posed photos are on demand, though?’
I consider for a moment. ‘That is a valid point,’ I concede. ‘It’s theactingpart of it.’
‘Try to ignore the acting thing and just remember that you aren’t standing next to a fake girlfriend, you’re standing next to a regular friend and having a photo taken like people do all the time?’
‘Yes.’ I nod. ‘I can do that.’
The next photos are still dire. I have this crazily wide smile on my face and Nadia’s looking up at me with one eyebrow raised, as though she’s genuinely alarmed.
She starts laughing and then after a moment I do too and then she says, ‘Dammit, it seemed like such a good idea.’
‘Iknow,’ I say. ‘Let’s get someone to take one of us frombehind.’
‘Nice.’ Nadia pauses and frowns. ‘How do we ask for that, though?Hi,couldyoutakeaphotoofusfrombehindandmakeitlookasthoughwe’reearly-daysdating?Thankyou!’
‘It’ll be easy. Watch.’
I turn to the little group nearest to us and when there’s a gap in their conversation say, ‘Hi, so sorry to interrupt but could you possibly do us a huge favour and take a photo of us?’
