The two of them share a hug and then stand back to watch Jerome get in. Jerome gets pretty sweary about the whole thing.
‘Turns out you’re an actual man of steel,’ Freya whispers to me.
‘Small sample size,’ I say, but if I’m honest I’m weirdly pleased that she’s complimented me. Probably just the contrast to how things were before. It actually gets quite wearing being permanently at war with someone.
Next it’s time for the reptile experience.
Freya begins to tense noticeably on the walk over there. She’s no longer laughing – even politely – at even my best jokes; she can barely even raise a smile. And she’s walking kind of stiffly.
When I ask, ‘So you really don’t like snakes?’ she physically flinches.
‘I can’t even stand the word,’ she tells me.
‘What, the wordsn?—’
She cuts me off. ‘Exactly.’
‘Proper full-blown phobia?’ I check. ‘Much worse than your fear of heights?’
She hadn’t seemedthatbad with the height thing. Clearly uncomfortable but not to these levels. More your ‘I have a very rational dislike of being high up if there’s a possibility that I might fall’ type fear.
‘Yep.’
‘It’s actually completely unacceptable to force someone to do something they’re this uncomfortable with,’ I say.
‘We’re on national television and we signed up to this and what can I do?’
‘You didn’t actually sign up to this. Neither of us signed anything saying we’d do absolutely anything they required of us and, if wehad, I really don’t think it would stand up in a court of law because it’s so ridiculously unreasonable to expect that of anyone and it would effectively have been under duress due to the on-national-television-you-can’t-pull-out pressure.’
‘Well, maybe it’s good for me to face my fears.’
‘Well obviously that might be true,’ I concede. ‘If youwantto face your fears.’ In front of me and lots of people she knowseven less. And TV cameras. I feel that your average person would probably rather face their fears in private and either supported by close friends or with complete strangers. This really doesn’t seem the best place for it.
Freya doesn’t reply; we’ve nearly reached the tent where the reptiles are and she’s just staring at it as we approach – at a snail’s pace, her walking having slowed dramatically.
‘Come in.’ Sonja holds the tent flap door open and we enter, to see a man with a large snake around his neck only a few feet from us.
‘Eeuurrrgh.’ Freya makes a strange sound next to me. As I turn to her, I see her do a full-body shudder – definitely involuntary rather than for effect – and she covers her face with her hands.
Okay. This is ridiculous.
‘Sorry.’ I put my arm round Freya’s rigid shoulders and draw her back out of the tent.
‘Where are you going?’ asks Sonja.
‘We aren’t doing this activity,’ I tell her. ‘We’re going to go for a walk.’
‘Sorry, what?’ Sonja’s smiling (there’s a camera behind us) but her tone is pure steel. ‘You agreed to do this weekend and you have to participate in every task.’
I shake my head. ‘As you will be aware, there is legislation in place to protect people from being bullied and traumatised in the workplace. Youknewthat Freya had a snake phobia. You didn’t ask her if she would like to face her fears or do this. From a legal perspective this is completely unacceptable. The production company is not legally able tomakeanyone go into a tent of reptiles if they don’t wish to do so. We are going for a walk. Enjoy the reptiles.’
Sonja’s mouth has fallen slightly open and she’s doing that thing where she presses her ear to hear what her producer is saying.
Freya’s seeming quite limp next to me, as though she might faint, so I maintain my grip on her shoulders, nod at Sonja, and wheel Freya round in a one-eighty and march us both off away from the tent.
‘Outrageous,’ I say as we walk, hoping to divert Freya’s mind from the snakes. ‘How can she possibly think it’s okay not to give people a choice about what they do? That was all recorded as well. I wonder if they’ll destroy the evidence in case we make a complaint.’
‘Thank you.’ She takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
