Part of her felt like she should be mortified, ashamed at so brazenly seducing the man who signed her paychecks. Except…it hadn’t been seduction, not really. More like a sorely-needed collision of two souls that had been withering from a lack of human connection. Like flowers that were denied the warm kiss of sunlight for too long. Both needed a physical balm for the emotional pain they carried from their respective losses.
Sunny’s gaze slanted sideways to study Liam’s profile. His chiseled features were slightly slack, the perpetually etched crease between his brooding brows smoothed away as he slumbered beside her. Like this, he didn’t look like the formidable hockey icon so feared on the ice rink.
No, in this private moment, Liam seemed vulnerable. Stripped of the gruff loner persona he cloaked himself with, revealing the profoundly broken man she had only caught glimpses of until last night’s dramatic emotional purge.
Her heart lurched with a strange tenderness at being allowed inside the walls he maintained so fiercely. Liam had removed his armor in her presence, even just for a few charged hours stolen away from the crushing realities he faced. He had trusted her with the rawest, most unguarded parts of himself when he’d finally allowed his need for affection and comfort to envelop them both. That realization helped to partially soothe the lingering awkwardness in Sunny’s mind over what they’d just shared.
With a feather-light caress, Sunny traced the sharp plane of Liam’s bristling jawline, relishing the simple intimacy of mapping the angles and hollows of his skin with the pad of a fingertip. She could feel the tension slowly re-gathering in his powerful body as he too roused. She witnessed the exact moment when reality slammed back into him by the sharp inhale of breath and slight recoil of his hulking body.
Liam’s eyes drifted open, revealing an ice blue stare that bore into Sunny with a hint of shame. As if he couldn’t comprehend how she could look at him with anything other than revulsion after he had taken such liberties. His jaw worked ferociously, the tendons corded beneath his stubbled skin as he struggled to find the words to address what had transpired between them.
But, before he could formulate a response, a piercing wail sliced through the strained silence. It was immediately followed by another, this one a higher-pitched screech from down the hall.
SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! THE GIRLS!!
They were awake…and based on the escalating hysteria in their tones, not at all pleased to have been left alone in their room for this long. Sunny was normally up at dawn orchestrating their routine for the day.
Panic lanced through Sunny and she shot up, clutching the throw to her exposed chest as she looked around wildly for her strewn clothes.
“Oh god, I have to get to them before this becomes a total meltdown,” she fretted, shooting Liam an agonized glance as her innocent charges’ cries reverberated accusingly through the house.
Liam shot a hand down his whiskered chin, the embarrassment reflecting in his face tenfold at the sound of his daughters just down the hall.
“Go,” he rasped, averting his gaze from Sunny as she clutched the sheet to her nakedness. “Just…go, take care of them before they think we’ve abandoned them.”
The recrimination in his tone lashed Sunny, making her wince. Of course he would instantly regret their lapse. The usual self-loathing and guilt was already eating away at him again.
Swallowing hard, Sunny nodded and scrambled off the bed, trying and failing to cover her modesty as she grabbed at her clothes and forced them on. She couldn’t look at Liam as she hastily dressed, afraid her resolve would crumble at the stormy emotions he radiated.
The girls’ hysterical summons allowed her to escape the heavy tension blanketing the room. But it was a case of swapping one big mess for another. There was no winning here.
Shamefaced heat burned her cheeks as Sunny hurried down thehall, hopping awkwardly to tug her shorts into place before pushing into the girls’ room.
“Hi sweeties, I’m so sorry,” she rushed out in her gentlest, most soothing tone as two tear-streaked cherub faces turned accusing glares on her.
“I just slept a little late this morning, but I’m here now and everything’s okay.”
The stink-eye from Maddie suggested otherwise.
“You never sleep late,” the six-year-old sniffed, clutching her stuffed bunny as she wiped her runny nose on her pajama sleeve. “We thought you went away, like Mommy.”
A lump formed in Sunny’s throat at the naked fear and vulnerability in the child’s quavering words. It hadn’t occurred to her that they would equate her absence with that event, their little worlds still freshly shattered by unimaginable loss. As she gathered them both up in her arms, murmuring reassurances, Sunny swore never again to be the source of such distress for these girls.
Liam’s daughters deserved far better than the messy, tangled situation she had embroiled herself and their father in last night. No matter what soul-deep hungers had driven them into each other’s arms, Sunny couldn’t allow herself to lose sight of her sole purpose for being in this house. Shielding Maddie and Hailey from trauma was meant to be her number one priority. Yet here she was, the unwitting cause of their distress.
As she rocked and cuddled the two small bodies, Sunny came to a heart-wrenching realization. The smart thing to do would be to extricate herself from the complicated situation she and Liam had created before anything could escalate further. Leaving his employ was the only way to preserve the remaining shreds of professionalism between them and guard his daughters from more chaos and upheaval. Even though it would break her heart to leave.
But as she held the two girls, she recalled the anguish they experienced when they thought Sunny was leaving them. Sunny nuzzled Hailey’s baby-soft curls and inhaled the comforting scent of powder and innocence. This was her role — gentle caregiver, not entangled lover. But she couldn’t trust herself around Liam. Last night had proved that.
Sunny felt her life was at a crossroads and there was no easy path forward. Every turn would involve heartache. For her and for the girls, too. She felt trapped. Suffocated. She had no idea how to proceed.
Leave. Before you can do any more damage,the rational and self-critical part of her brain demanded.
Stay. Keep a lid on your urges and give these girls what they so sorely need,the sensible part of herself argued. It was the only mature, responsible course of action. Even if it meant consigning whatever smoldering possibilities she and Liam had awakened last night to the pyre of duty.
Stay. Feel the joy of that rock-hard body ravishing you night after night,the wild child inside her ventured.
Urghhh.This was hopeless. She was all over the place.
