“So that’s it, you’ve picked your side?”
“I’m a circle. I don’t have sides.”
“I’m entitled to have concerns.”
“Sure, but I’m not interested in them.”
“You say that but a month from now when she’s back on the road, you’ll be looking to me to bandage your wounds. You can’t tell me to mind my business, but then seek my shoulder to cry on.”
“Noted,” I called over my shoulder, leaving the office.
When Fancy and Darla left for Los Angeles. I was upset and conflicted, thinking maybe I should’ve gotten on that plane too. The thing is, Fancy and I were never a couple. Aside from one kiss when we were twelve, it was nothing. Did I want more, sure? Did she? I don’t know. But when she left, I lost my best friend. And at the time it was the most painful thing to ever happen to me. Granted I was still too young to realize life was a mixture of joy and pain. And the longer you lived the harder it becomes to escape the sting of your existence.
So, I metaphorically cried on Dial’s shoulder. And when Fancy stopped reaching out, I called her everything but a child of God. And Dial was there for that too. So, in a way I made Dial hate her because she saw I was in pain and the source of the pain appeared to be Fancy. My hurt feelings and sadness wasn’t Fancy’s fault, it was mine alone. I wanted something Fancy never promised.
After a long dayof me and Dial scowling at one another when I wasn’t completely trying to avoid her all together, I headed home. These past few days, going home held a new thrill for me. I wasn’t returning home to an empty house and evening chores … well I still had chores. But now I had someone to do the chores with me. Fancy would sometimes tag along and help me feed the animals in the evening. She would talk my ear off telling me about her day and asking questions about mine.
Since Fancy was on vacation, her days consisted of working on new music, making jam with her mother, or catching up with an old friend for lunch. As we rode around the farm, I’d listen to the intricate jam making process and watch as her face lit up when she told me she’d brought me some strawberry jam to try.Before she arrived, I was content with nights alone tinkering in my garage but now having experienced what life could be with someone it would be hard to return to my normal routine.
When I exited the truck, Fancy was outside to greet me. Jumping into my arms from the top step of the porch. She almost bowled both of us over, but I managed to steady my feet.
“Welcome home.” The way she greeted me made my dick throb. It was like she’d been anticipating my return all day and now that the boring workday was over, the fun could finally begin.
“Did you miss me?” I asked, desperate for confirmation this feeling wasn’t all in my head.
Instead of words, her tongue invaded my mouth with a long, probing kiss, hinting at what the night had in store for us. When she finally released me, she claimed my hand and I followed her inside. Fancy had opened all the blinds, and the sunlight was beaming through the windows. My inherited collection of junk almost took on a mystical aura, transforming my place into one better suited for an antiquities dealer rather than a country boy.
“How’d things go with Dial?” she asked.
“It was like driving down a straight a way, hitting a dip in the road, careening through a cornfield and smashing into a tree.”
She lowered the volume on Fleetwood Mac’s“The Chain.” “That bad, huh?”
“It’s fine. We both just need time to cool off. Dial and I are really similar, but the majority of our disagreements are because of how we differ. I still love her. I’m just not real happy with her at the moment.”
“I don’t want you two fighting about me. If I have to, I will lock you both in a room and force you to talk it out.”
I reached for her hand. “Listen, I owe you an apology.”
“For what?”
“For Dial and how she came at you yesterday. She’s mad at you because of me. Because when you left it felt like the world was ending. And as my big sister, she’s protective of me. It’s one of her best and worst qualities, the fierceness of her loyalty and love.”
“So, she’s mad at me because of the things you said.”
Tossing my hands in the air, I did my best to explain. “I was unhappy for a host of reasons. After graduation I wasn’t fully sure of my place in the world. I was taking classes at the community college because I was too scared to leave home. It was like everyone was moving on, pairing off, starting families, getting married. While I was over here trying to figure out my next move. Losing you was just added salt to the wound. It was a rough patch for sure. Dial was there for that?—”
Tears threatened to spill down Fancy’s face. “And now I’m back and she thinks my intentions aren’t sincere and I’m going to hurt you again and she’ll have to deal with the fallout.”
“Pretty much.”
“You’re not the only one who had trouble finding their way. LA wasn’t welcoming and more times than I liked to admit, I felt like I’d bitten off more than I could chew. I cried the entire plane ride to LA because you weren’t with us. At some point I got mad. I was so mad at you. So, I stopped calling. Because what was so great about Hume that you’d choose it over me. We weren’t even a couple, but I had this hole in my chest.” She blew out a tight breath in between sniffles. “And I didn’t know how to verbalize what I felt or the love I had for you, and it scared me.
“Eventually it became too late. The years passed and I just knew you’d moved on. I was waiting for my momma’s weekly Hume reports to include news about you getting engaged or having a baby.” Fancy tucked her curls behind her ears, her makeup smeared from crying. “I don’t regret moving … I don’t …but I do regret losing you. Because the truth is, I sort of love you Edison Birch.”
It was difficult to catch my breath, and my heart was beating like it was looking for a way out of my chest cavity. I always knew she loved me as a friend. But now she was saying she loved me … loved me. She was telling me I was special in a way others weren’t. Her fondness for me wasn’t because we’d known one another for years and were practically family. She just loved me and all the things that made me uniquely different from anyone else. In me she found a connection so deep it was scary, painful, and exhilarating simultaneously.
Fancy released a nervous chuckle. “Whoa, I think I need something stiff to drink.”
