“Whoa, lil Eddy got that thumpity thump thump.”
“What?”
“That’s the sound it makes when he drops trou. It’s significant and heavy.”
“We are not going to have a conversation about my boyfriend’s penis.” I added water to the coffee maker and selected a mug.
“You’re right because we need to be talking about your possessive adjectives. How many boyfriends can one woman have?”
“I only have the one.”
“What happened to Chap?”
“He got replaced.”
“Is that what Edison is … a replacement?” His lips took on an unimpressed shape.
My eyes narrowed as I detected the bullshit. “Did Dial put you up to this?”
“She and I barely talk.”
Stomping my foot like a child, I replied, “Don’t lie to me.”
“Dial may have mentioned something when I was dropping off Maple.”
“She asked you to check on me?”
“No, she was venting. I listened and took it upon myself to check on you.”
“Well, I’m fine.” I did my best to add an air of finality to my words.
Oz took a long sip from his mug, any trace of humor fading. “Do you know what you’re doing?” Serious Oz was almost as bad as life of the party Oz. In fact, I think serious Oz was harder to swallow because when Ozzie wasn’t smiling he looked just like my father and now I felt like I was in trouble.
“Yes, kind of … sorta.”
“Emm, Edison deserves for you to be all in.”
“I am all in.”
“Baby girl, I love you to bits. But you don’t think things through. You never have. You ran off to LA and struggled for the good part of three years. Sleeping on people’s couches and surviving on SpaghettiOs and the dollar menu at Taco Bell. You’re impulsive and Edison is steady.”
“I’m impulsive? Pot … kettle.”
“I own that shit; us Palmer kids are like the wind. Now Edison, Dial, and Cy are more like the earth. Edison is a redwood tree. You know the kind with the massive trunk not easily moved. And you are like the Santa Ana Winds. It sweeps down from the desert and into California bringing with it smoke, dust, and the makings of wildfire.”
“But I can also bring a nice breeze on a hot day.”
“Breezes never stick around for long.”
“So, Dial tells you to jump and you drive right over here and start stirring the pot.”
“That’s not what this is. You came to Hume to get away and in less than two weeks, you’re in love.”
“Just because it happened fast doesn’t make it any less real.”
“I don’t think you’ve ever been single. You are what they call a serial monogamist.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
