Kids tagging stop signs, or a baby goat trotting around the Welborn’s. Which in my opinion was a cute sight to witness as residents pulled out their phones to take pictures of the prancing goat. Cy wasn’t saving the town, so why was he constantly declining family Sunday dinners?
Dial never missed a Sunday. Shit most Sundays she and I would show up early and just hangout. Being in your childhood home was earnest and humbling. No matter how grown, you were always your mother’s baby. And Dial and I would fall into our teenage routine of cracking jokes, talking shit, and pestering one another. Now with my niece in the mix, I was able to teach her all my annoying habits, which pissed off my sister.
“I don’t get it,” my niece said.
“Get what, sweetie?” Fancy asked, grabbing an apricot from the snack board.
“How can you two be a couple if you’re related?”
“We’re not related,” I said.
“But she’s my aunt and you’re my uncle.”
“Yeah, we’re related to you, but we’re not related to each other. Because you’re right, that would be weird.” Fancy nodded.
Maple wrinkled her nose. She was the perfect blend of Dial and Ozzie. “But we’re all family.”
“In a sense, yes. But?—”
“Are you two going to get married?”
“Dial,” I shouted. “Dial, come get your child.” Per usual Dial ignored my cry for help, just like she barely acknowledged Fancy and me when she came in. “Hey Maple, go tell your mommy Uncle Eddy said she’s a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.”
“What?”
“Just say it exactly like that. Gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake. Go, go, go.”
Maple ran off to the kitchen.
“Why?” Fancy asked.
“Why not? She’s acting like a loser. Plus, she has thick skin.”
Maple came running back out of breath. “Mommy said, you’re a pretzel that’s unsalted and no one likes that.”
“Oh yeah?” I tickled Maple and she giggled with glee. “You tell mommy Have a nice day,somewhere else. Say it just like that, start out nice and then go for the kill. Let me hear you.”
“Have a nice day, somewhere else.”
“Saysomewhere else. Can you tell the difference? Maybe add a little attitude.”
“Somewhereelse.”
“That’s good enough. Go.”
“Are you ten?” Fancy stared at me.
“What’s the point of having a sister if you can’t tease her every now and then?”
“Maybe we shouldn’t poke the bear.”
“We may be at a stalemate, but annoying my sister is my right as the baby of the family.”
Dial entered the family room and gave us the once over. “Cute shirt Francesca. I mean I’m used to seeing your areolas, so this is a nice change.”
Fancy gasped out a laugh.
“I think I liked it better when we weren’t talking,” I said.
