“If that’s what you really think maybe we were never truly friends. It’s not about Chap, it’s about you. Chap’s a man, they’re a dime a dozen. But you were supposed to be my best friend, ride or die, from the cradle to the casket.”
“I still am. It’s just complicated.”
“No it’s not, it’s selfish. I would never have done that to you.” I couldn’t stand to look at her, instead focusing my attention on the massive chandelier overhead. The entire house, at least the parts I’d seen, were beautiful. I guess listening to people vent was big business. Everything in Los Angeles was more expensive, even mental health care. I’m sure I’d receive a hefty bill after this session. And for what, so I could sit next to Darla while she gaslit me.
“I just got tired of being in your shadow.”
Her word brought me back to the present and lit me up like a match. “You were never in my shadow. You were right beside me. Every opportunity I garnered was also given to you. I’m tired of people feeling less than and blaming it on me. Because all I ever did was treat you like a sister.”
Dr. Al scooched closer in his armchair. “This is good. Communication is good. Darla why do you think you gravitated toward Chap?”
I didn’t give her a chance to respond. “Who cares? Who fucking cares Dr. Al. Because at this point, I just want to finish this tour and be done.”
“You and Darla share a deep history. It would be nice to walk away with closure.”
“That’s the thing, I don’t need closure. Actions speak louder than words. And Darla’s actions told me everything I needed to know. I’m good off of her and I’m good off of Whiskey Wild.”
“This tour is going to be difficult if we’re at one another’s throats,” Darla shot back.
Fuck her comfort. She needed to be walking on eggshells anytime she approached me. “You’re a good actress. Just fake it like you did with me all those months.”
Dr. Al leaned closer. By the end of this meeting, he’d be sitting in my lap. “Fancy, are you saying you don’t care about mending your relationship?”
“We just have to sing together. Work the crowd, play our songs, and sing.”
I wasn’t ready to forgive. Shit, Darla wasn’t even remorseful. It was clear I was never a consideration. Darla made choices and now I was making mine. Some people would suggest I was being petty to break up Whiskey Wild over a man. But I can’t stress enough that Darla was my best friend, and she hurt me to my core. I thought we’d be friends forever, but forever didn’t last as long as I expected. I’m not saying never, but right now it was a hell no for me.
Twisting in her chair, for the first time this afternoon Darla’s eyes met mine. “I don’t want you to hate me, Fancy.”
“Hate is a strong word. I just have an aversion to all things Darla. And the fact that you can’t acknowledge you hurt me … hurts me. So, if it’s all the same, let’s just tell the label we’re in a better place and looking forward to the start of the tour.”
I wasn’t interested in being the bigger person, letting water pass under the bridge. I was in my petty era. And Darla wouldn’t get a smile, a head nod, or a handshake from me that wasn’t performative. I was here for the fans, the money, and to say a final farewell to Whiskey Wild.
The US legof the Girls Behaving Badly Tour kicked off on the East Coast in Boston. Everything was bigger than our lastUS tour two years ago. We had a solid catalog of songs and a dedicated fan base. For the next three months Darla and I would be crossing the country to perform to sold-out crowds. I could still remember when we were the opening act. Playing in half empty arenas because people were only interested in the main event.
Despite the lack of a crowd, we would put on a show. Dancing and singing our hearts out. Soon the word got out that you didn’t want to be late because if you did, you’d miss out on a great time. To come from that to fans chanting our name and singing along to all the words was hard to wrap my head around.
Unlike past tours, Darla and I were on separate buses and would look at anything but each other when we were in the same room. During the radio station visits and promo runs, we were all smiles, but once we were back in the SUV, we both pulled out our phones and pretended like the other didn’t exist until the next stop. It was tense but when we hit the stage, it was like all the resentment was paused and we just rocked out.
Of course, all I could think about was Edison. It was difficult leaving him and being away for three months sounded like torture. It’s funny how a month ago Edison was a memory I chose not to linger on because of all the regret. And now I was staying up late talking to him on the phone and exchanging text messages. Any time my cell dinged or vibrated, I hoped it was him.
Day 5 of the Girls Behaving Badly tour
Edison: What city are you in?
Fancy: New Jersey.
Edison: How are things going with Darla?
Fancy: At this point we’re not talking to each other. We ride on separate buses. She’s in a bus with Chap. They’re dating now.
Edison: Ouch.
Fancy: Not gonna lie it’s kind of surreal. But they seem happy together.
Edison: Darla likes to pretend she’s winning.
Fancy: I miss you. I didn’t realize how hard it would be being away from you.
