“Tonight would be a good night to go out, huh? I bet you’re wishing April…or even Kelly…were here.” I said softly, holding back the tears that wanted to come out.
He heaved a sigh, lifting his hand to my hair, lightly tucking it behind my ear.
“I’m not going anywhere tonight, Quinn. Didn’t you hear? I’m here for you.”
Sixteen
Wyatt
Quinnwassilentaswe settled Hook in the boarding stall. She was quiet when we drove back to the hotel. She was quiet when she swiped her key card. And when I knocked on her door for our nightly episode ofOnce Upon a Time,she said, “Not tonight,” before shutting the door in my face. I stood there, staring at the number plaque, wanting to barge in and pull her close to yank her out of whatever had taken her cheer away. I’d only seen her like this once before, right when she got homefrom her first weekend. And then she had done the same thing. Closed off.
This wasn’t her. The urge to break down the door was getting stronger and stronger. But the more I stood there, the more I realized I knew absolutely nothing about what was wrong other than the fact that it had to do with her mother. Therefore, I knew nothing about how to comfort her.
When my sister’s husband, Sylas, died almost six years ago, I knew exactly what to do. Abi and I worked and thought on the same plane. Her grief was mine, and simply being there for each other, just letting her cry on my shoulder until she fell asleep, listening to her break and beg for him to come back, that was what she needed. I was enough for her in her darkest times. But this was Quinn, and even though we had spent basically every second together the past five days, I had no idea who she really was and how to make her feel the joy that was taken from her. I didn’t know if I was going to be enough for her.
So…I gave in to her desire to be alone and went to my own room and lay awake all night long, wishing tonight was the night I fell asleep over the covers. When the sun rose, I went to meet her in her room. She was packed and ready to go, but I could tell her eyes were heavy. I had seen that with Abi multiple times when she would cry herself to sleep. Did Quinn do that last night? My chest ached at the thought.
I grabbed her bags and piled them on the cart, making sure to work quick so she wouldn’t have to lift a finger. Then I loaded the truck and forced her into the passenger seat. She didn’t protest. She just buckled up and raised her knees to her chest, plopping her head on the headrest.
“Sleep well?” I asked, not entirely knowing what to say to her.
“Not really. Thank you for driving,” she responded, her head rolling to look over at me. She gave me a slight smile before turning back to the window.
“I drive, you relax.” I popped the truck into gear and stepped on the gas.
I drove the entire way to Boise, keeping conversation light as the landscapes passed us. She read. She slept. She relaxed. Focused on anything but the road in front of her. And in the silence, the silence that never felt awkward between us, questions began gathering in my mind.
What was her favorite color?Turquoise probably.
What was her favorite food?That one I didn’t know the answer to.
What was her favorite movie?If I had to guess, a fairy tale.
What was her favorite book?Peter Pan? With how much she loved Hook…had to be it.
What did she like to do in her spare time? Where did she grow up? What was her first rodeo experience like?I want to know all of these answers.
If she could be doing anything but barrel racing, what would it be?Another answer I couldn’t wait to find out.
When I first saw her, I knew there was something about her. Even now, seeing her like this, I still wanted to know what it was and how I could find out. I wanted to really, truly, get to know the woman who was next to me. To find out what exactly makes her smile and tick, even to find out what makes her cry. There had to be a way I could get all of those questions answered. There had to be a way to break down whatever stood between us to makethisnot so impossible after all. This weekend only proved that.
And as we sat there—the silence growing as she turned the page of her book—I started to form another type of emotion. Fear. I was actually getting scared of the knot forming in my chest.
I had never ever felt this way about someone before. I never saw myself settling down with anyone, not giving myself theoption to grow close enough to want that with someone. I saw my family, my sister, and brother each finding love and growing their lives, but the fact that I had no plans in that area didn’t bother me. I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and a family just didn’t fit into it.
But Quinn…
I wanted her to fit.
When I first saw her, I knew there was more to her than the beautiful woman who caught my eye.
When I first saw her, I knew no one would ever compare to her.
Even when nothing I tried worked to get her attention, I still couldn’t stop thinking about her. She didn’t want to be chased, yet I didn’t want to chase anyone else. I didn’t want tobewith anyone else.
Even in silence, she was all I wanted.
And that scared the shit out of me.
