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He’d already put a hole in the wall once this year. The day after the final report on Jaci was compiled, and he’d had time to think about it, time to let the fury stew inside him.
“Get out of here, Chase. ” He could not deal with his twin’s amused condescension today. He’d end up hitting Chase, and the problem with Chase was that he invariably hit back. They hadn’t had a brawl in years, and his ribs were thanking him for it.
“Come on, Cam, she’s a beautiful, vibrant woman. Every man she meets is going to wonder if she’s as hot in bed as she looks, and a few are going to try to find out. Nothin’ you can do about it. ”
His fingers curled into a fist again. Fury pumped in him; he was hot, blistering with jealousy. He had never been jealous over another woman. He had never ached to punch any man that dared to so much as look at anyone but Jaci.
She had no idea how possessive he was over her. She had no clue how the thought of her with other men had tortured him over the years. And God forbid he should ever meet up with an old lover, because Cam wasn’t certain if he could hold onto his control if he did.
“Come on, Cam, Khalid’s flirty with all the women, you know that. The son of a bitch lives and breathes his playboy lifestyle just to piss his daddy off. You can’t take him seriously. ”
“He touches her again, and I’ll take his hand off,” he snarled, whirling around to face the amusement in his brother’s eyes.
But he didn’t see amusement. He saw the same darkness in his brother that rode his own soul. They were like mirror images of each other in so many ways.
“God, this is a mess,” he bit out, turning away again.
Why do you do it, Cam? A man as possessive as you would never share your lover without a reason. Jaci’s question ripped through his mind with the force of a dull blade, tearing at his conscience. And still, he hadn’t been able to explain. He hadn’t been able to put into words that overwhelming, dark need that continually drove him and his brother.
The men of the Sinclair men’s club all had varied reasons why they shared. Some for pleasure, some for excitement, some for protection of themselves or others. Some simply because they enjoyed it.
For Cam and Chase, why they shared was mired in so many different, impossible reasons. The bond of twins, of knowing each other’s strengths, each other’s weaknesses; of understanding the pleasure they could give—and the pleasure they received from it.
They could take women to places together that they couldn’t take them alone. Give them a pleasure that drove them to the point where they couldn’t find the breath to scream, and could only beg for more.
Cam could hold back, glory in the power of the pleasure they drew from a woman. Watch her eyes glaze over, feel more than his own pleasure. He could feel her pleasure. And he could maintain his distance, he could maintain his control and the ability to hold back the pain. And the nightmares.
And he wanted that pleasure for Jaci, often. He wanted her dazed, wet, and shaking between them, twisting in the midst of a hunger so intense she didn’t know who she was, or where she was, only that she needed more. Just as she had the other night. The addictive need to have her like that again was growing, building in his gut, until he wondered how long he could maintain his control.
He needed to give her that. It crawled beneath his flesh, drove talons of agonizing arousal through his testicles, and made his cock harder than it had ever been in his life.
“You’re going to have to explain things to her,” Chase said behind him. “You won’t hold her heart if you don’t give her yours in return, man. ”
He shook his head. “How do you explain the impossible, Chase? Hell, sometimes even I can’t explain it to myself. ”
He took his lovers alone often. He didn’t require Chase’s presence all the time, but sometimes, sometimes the darkness of the sexual needs inside him demanded it. As though there were a core inside himself, livid with a hunger, a need that became sated only in certain ways. And with Jaci, he didn’t dare take her alone. There would be no chance of maintaining even a semblance of distance from her otherwise.
“It would help her understand,” Chase said. “You can’t hide from her and expect her to give you everything. Hell, it’s bad enough that you hide from me. ”
“Explaining it wouldn’t help. ” He clenched his hands, fought to work through the surging fury. “It’s like a drug now. You know it as well as I do. Seeing the pleasure, feeling it. ” He shook his head at the hopelessness of it.
“So, you’re going to lose her to the likes of Khalid instead?” Chase drawled. “Smart, Cam. ”
“I’ll talk to Khalid. ” He breathed in roughly. “He’ll stay away from her. ”
He was aware of the disbelief in Chase’s expression. “Are we talking about the same Khalid?” his brother asked. “The same one undressing her with his eyes in the hallway, Cam?”
“Don’t push this, Chase,” he growled.
Chase held his hands up placatingly. “Fine. I’m out of it. Just consider the I-told-you-sos said when you find out he’s moved in for the kill. ”
“She’s too smart to fall for him. ” Cam shook his head. He had to believe that.
“She’s alone,” Chase said then, his voice soft, warning. “Remember that, Cam. She’s alone and losing the same man for the second time for the same reason. She’s been alone for a very long time now. She’s not going to stay alone. ”
No, and she had every right not to have to be alone.
Cam shook his head, fighting his desires, fighting himself. She deserved the love she thought so highly of. Monogamous, possessive, pure love. She didn’t deserve the exact opposite of the ideal that she prized so highly.
