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"As men, there are times when we are pitiful excuses for lovers. " He sighed. "We wound the tender hearts placed in our keeping, because our own lusts often rule us before our hearts learn how to lead us. His head fights what his heart knows. "
She shook her head. "It was only for the pleasure," she whispered, her voice rough. "I thought I could do it. "
Khalid shook his head. "I always knew differently, little one. Your heart rules your lusts, and always, Chase has drawn both your eye as well as your desires. I've known this for many years. It was Chase who did not wish to see. To see would have risked his own heart, his own purpose. Ofttimes, men such as we are, we do not see the truth of our own destinies. "
He ran his fingers down her pale cheek. "If he does not spend this night with you, and the darkness grows unbearable, I'm but a phone call away. "
"I can't…"
He placed his fingers on her lips. "I can hold back the darkness," he promised her softly. "Not your need for the one you love. I won't try to arouse you, little one, merely hold you. Sometimes, we just need that warmth in the dark, yes?"
Her fingers touched the back of his hand, a sad smile shaped her lips, and he knew she would never call.
"You deserve a very special woman, Khalid," she whispered.
He shook his head. "I deserve far less than you believe. "
He stared around the room, and wondered if his debt to her had been eased yet. A part of him felt it had not. The night he had nearly participated in the most horrific event a woman could be forced into still seared his memory.
He had sworn to himself he would never take so much as a smile that a woman did not wish to give him. That he would bring them only pleasure, never pain. Yet this delicate woman, so young, so winsome and sensual, he had nearly helped to destroy.
He heard the water in the bathroom shut off.
"I will go for now. " He rose from the bed. "Should you need me, Kia…"
She nodded as she rose up in the bed and glanced at the door before turning back to him. "I'll call. "
But he knew she wouldn't, just as she knew it.
He sighed at the thought and nodded before turning and leaving the room, and then the apartment. What more could he do at this point? This night? Tomorrow might be another matter entirely.
Kia watched as the bathroom door opened and Chase walked out, tucking his shirt into his pants. She stood by the bed belting her robe, and when he stared at her silently she stifled a sigh.
Yes, he was leaving. She hadn't expected anything more. She felt the tightness around her eyes, the tears that wanted to fill them, and pushed her fingers through her hair before leaving the bedroom.
He followed, watching in silence as she came to a stop beside the door.
Letting him go without begging him to stay was the hardest tiling she had ever done. Not because she needed him to hold back the night. Because she needed him to hold her. Because she was learning she needed more than just the pleasure.
"Don't bother coming back unless you come back alone. "
She saw the surprise that surged into his eyes. But how could he be surprised? Surely he hadn't thought it would continue like this indefinitely. That she would always be the little plaything that he could share with his friends and she would never ask for anything more.
"You haven't enjoyed it?" His eyes narrowed, his expression tightening. Not in anger. Strangely, she thought she might have sensed a small flicker of knowledge instead.
She could not afford to let herself care for him any more than she already did. Her heart was getting twisted up in this, her need for more, for something deeper, was beginning to gnaw at her like a hungry beast. Watching him leave each time, never knowing the softer, gentler side of having a lover, was starting to hurt too much. She wanted to laugh in bed with him. She wanted to wake up beside him and argue over the blankets, and how stupid was that?
And she was falling in love with him. She knew she was. Soon he would have the power to destroy her in ways that Drew could have never imagined.
She stared back at him, eye to eye, and whispered, "I don't have the strength for a broken heart right now, Chase. And this is going to break my heart. I need more than a few hours, whenever. "
"What the hell does a broken heart have to do with us?" His jaw clenched, the muscle flexing within it dangerously.
Of course, to him, her heart didn't have anything to do with it. They weren't even involved in a relationship. She was nothing but a fuck buddy, she told herself, as painful as that thought was, and she couldn't bear it anymore.
"It has everything to do with me," she answered him. "You can come to me alone, or not at all. As hot, as wicked, as being with both you and Khalid has been, I'd like to see, just once, if you know how to fuck without him. "
A frown snapped between his brows. "This is insane, Kia. What we have is something we'll not find without a third. "
