“I cannotcareif I catch you.”
“You said you do not understand. Try to remember. Try to think of matters how they would appear to your woman. Can you think as clearly as you used to? Make the attempt.”
The argument had been too painful to dwell on. He’d remember fragments and snatches of it, and thrice Darcy woke in a cold sweat from a nightmare about the argument. He’d never really thought upon what had been said. Elizabeth treated him wrongly, and she ought to have accepted his authority over Georgiana, and she should have felt Darcy pride. That was all there was to it.
“Too much learning made her irrational, and a woman’s emotions are intrinsically fickle.”
Richard laughed as though Darcy had made a joke. “Did you tell your ladythat?”
“Of course not — I…” Whathadhe told Elizabeth? The scene rose before his eyes in a jumbled heap. He’d told her she was mercenary. She apologized for her anger and passion when she said unkind words, but every time she asked for compromise, or demanded he listen to her, he said there was no reason to talk. He was decided.
She hadtriedto talk to him.
Darcy had a sour frown. As he thought, they played through the final few rounds of the game, and Richard won by twenty-nine points.
He still loved her.
Darcy had absolutely refused to let her speak her piece, or to consider seriously what she said. He of course would have rejected everything she could say about Georgiana and Mr. Peake (but would he have? Elizabeth could be persuasive), he owed his wife the honor of not being immovably convinced of his decision before he had heard her out.
The two gentlemen leaned against the window sill, looking out at the darkness, and their own flickering reflections. Darcy said, “She trusted me far enough to agree to a marriage because when we argued, I argued with her as an equal. Whatever Isaidabout distrusting female learning, I took her mind and her words as seriously as I would any other combatant — I had no choice. Miss Bennet’s mind is dazzling, radiant. She is as clever as I am.”
“Too clever for a simple soldier like me.”
Darcy looked at Richard from the side of his eyes. “Had you been attracted to her?”
Richard laughed. “How could any man not be? I am not insensible. But no serious thoughts. I had not sufficient moneythento please myself, and Papa would have been angry. Besides sheismuch too clever for a simple soldier.”
“I told her I would not listen to her about anyserious matter— that is how she interpreted what I said — I proved such by not allowing her to speak to me about Georgiana. My sister’s well-being is mine to care for. I choose, in the end. But…”
“You could hardly expect Miss Bennet to be satisfied when you refused to evenlistento her opinions the first time you had a serious disagreement.”
Darcy stared out into space. Had he made his own mistake? But Elizabeth had thrown his ring to the ground. She had been full of passion and anger as well.
Richard poured Darcy another thumb of the cognac. “Drink up. I have fulfilled my duty tonight.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Life continued at Pemberley.
As Brigadier General Fitzwilliamhadbecome a favorite of the military command, he only could stay at Pemberley for a week. But it was a good week. Darcy felt calmer and happier when he farewelled his cousin.
Their days were much as they had always been. Georgiana walked and rode more, visiting different parts of the estate, and often taking Anne with her to show his niece parts of the estate she belonged to by her Darcy birth. When he could, Darcy went with them.
Georgiana did not cease playing piano. Darcy had feared she would. His life would be entirely empty without her and Anne. Before, he expected it to be filled by Elizabeth, and her society, and her laughter, and her interests.
He had been mistaken in how he treated Elizabeth. And this gave him an ache, a sense that if he could repeat that horrible day once more, if he could simply speak that conversation with Elizabeth again, and keep his temper in good regulation, he would yet be happy. He just had needed to convince her he would listen to her, and never rule over her in a manner which principally affected her.
Darcy had not been mistaken to deny Georgiana’s wishes. There was sadness in his sister, but much less than Darcy had expected.
Darcy spent a great deal of effort planning Georgiana’s birthday party. It was to be her twenty first, an auspicious age, and one which Darcy thought marked the beginning of an even better life for his sister. But still just the two of them. Darcy had not come to understand how to engage her more deeply in Derbyshire society, the way Elizabeth had in Hertfordshire. He did not understand how to make people feel sympathy with him, not in the way Elizabeth could.
For her birthday Darcy hired a famed pianist to perform and to offer Georgiana several weeks of focused lessons. She’d told him once, years ago, that she wished to take lessons from Mr. Maier. They had planned to employ him when they spent time in London after the summer that Georgiana would spend in Ramsgate. Now at last Georgiana would fulfill that dream from before.
The morning of her birthday, Darcy looked over the daily business and then went out to examine the preparations for her party.
Boxes and boxes of fireworks had been purchased and stored in the garden sheds — safely distant from the main house. They had arrived two days ago, and Darcy inspected them with the servants. Georgiana and Anne would shout in delight when they watched the rockets fly up and explode with colors filling the cold night sky. Darcy beamed at the boxes and he opened one up to examine the fuse and the frame of a rocket. “Excellent collection. Excellent — be careful in handling them.”
The chief gardener who thoroughly enjoyed the chance to handle fireworks bowed with a barely concealed grin.
