They made it even harder for Darcy to speak as he looked into her eyes, and his stomach felt a little queasy. “Miss Elizabeth,” he began, “what I heard you say the other day, that I had spoken in an ungentlemanly manner, has rattled around in my mind since then.”
“Oh, I do apologize, for—”
“No, the only apology that must be made ismine. You spoke what was true, and what has been most beneficial for me to hear. When I spoke I was prompted by an ill humor, which I permitted to overcome my better character. I ought not have spoken slightingly of you. And I beg your forgiveness for having behaved in that manner. But I know such words are cheap, and I will strive todisplaymore gentlemanly manners henceforth.”
Darcy felt a pulse of anxiety in his stomach, even though he was delighted with himself for having spoken.
Elizabeth glanced at Miss Lucas. She then replied with a soft, serious voice, and she smiled at him in a way different from how she smiled at her friends. “Such words are not cheap, not from a man such as you.”
“Whether they are or not,” Darcy concluded his apology, “I hope you will see that I have taken your reproof to heart, and I hope that I shall not speak so to anyone again, no matter what my mood is.”
Elizabeth looked at him with a tilted head and that odd smile. “I ought not have spoken of you in such a way as I did either.”
Darcy waved that away. It was nonsense. “You had no notion that I would hear. I would be a hypocrite indeed if I judged critically everyone who privately spoke ill of someone who had given them a real cause for offence.”
“You would be forced then,” Miss Lucas said, “to judge everyone.”
Miss Elizabeth laughed. “You mean to say that you ought to havewhisperedto Mr. Bingley that I was not handsome. A handsome correction — I beg you, do not become offended. I accept your apology, but I also delight in teasing.”
“A strange sensation.” He cleared his throat. “I am unused to being laughed at.”
“Not used to being laughed at!” Miss Elizabeth smiled at him in such an open way that Darcy’s stomach flipped. “A sad state!”
“Why?”
Miss Elizabeth confidently grinned at him with devilish eyes. “You contradict the dictum of a lady?”
“I merely beg to be informed of the basis of her claim. It was not a contradiction. I have been apt to think that being laughed at is a pitiable state to be in, and one which I have striven, as I said, to avoid.” Darcy’s arms were beginning to become uncomfortable from leaning his weight on them. Despite how hard he had worked to train his arms and shoulders so he could use them in part to substitute for the legs that now barely worked, it was considerably harder to remain standing in one place for a length of time with the crutches than on two stable feet.
“Is that why you grimace, just a little, every time someone asks to be of service to you due to your illness?”
“Do I?”
“You certainly do,” Miss Elizabeth replied. “But as to your question — to be happy if a person makes sport of you is a sign that you are dear friends. That you do not need to stand upon your dignity with them. At least such has been my experience.”
“And now,” Miss Lucas rose as Mary Bennet entered the last bit of the sonata she had been playing, “I shall make sport ofyou, Eliza, by forcing you to take your turn at the piano to give us a song.”
“Look at her! What an excellent friend.” Miss Elizabeth laughed. “Always pushing me forward — I ought to complain with false modesty, pretending I am not pleased, but though my playing is nothing remarkable —notfalse modesty — I enjoy the chance to display as much as any other girl.”
The two went to the piano, and Darcy, finding that he could command an excellent view of Miss Elizabeth’s profile from the Chesterfield that she had just vacated, sank gratefully onto it and leaned his crutches against the arm rest.
Her playing was by no means technically perfect, and she forgot a few words from the song she played, but there was a passion and delight in the performance that Miss Elizabeth gave which provided Darcy with a pleasure that he seldom had when listening to even the best performers.
She was beautiful, lovely, wholly desirable, and it made his chest clench to watch her warbling song.
It puzzled him how pretty she was.
Why?
She did not have the same perfect symmetry that Jane Bennet had, or that any woman who would be considered a diamond of the first water ought to have. Her form was light and pleasing, but lacked the stateliness of a great beauty.
The lively eyes and the mobility of the lips and the dimple of her cheek. That was where the charm lay. When Elizabeth Bennet sat calmly without speaking, as she had when Bingley suggested that he be introduced to her that night at the ball, there was nothing remarkable about her.
But in motion, Elizabeth was handsome enough to tempt any man.
After Miss Elizabeth’s song, Mary Bennet was prevailed upon to take the piano again to play a reel, and the party dissolved into an ugly crush of couples dancing, pressing the more sensible members of the company to the edges of the room. Miss Elizabeth’s youngest sisters, shouting, red faced from drink, and with disordered curls were the most forward in lining up with the officers.
What a distasteful group.
