I do not know the substance of your quarrel, not beyond my guess that Jane and Mr. Bingley featured prominently in it, and I do not know the details of Mr. Darcy’s mind or character. And I have lost the moral authority a parent ought to have with their child. I simply write as an observer of character — there are those who hold onto their resentments, even when the other party made an effort to show themselves open to reconciliation, and there are those who respond to gestures of forgiveness with their own gestures. As a general, though by no means universal, rule, the persons who are more apt to forgive, andwho turn towards friendly gestures with friendliness seem to be happier.
Your loving father,
T Bennet
Chapter Nineteen
A week after Bingley’s engagement with Jane had been settled, Mr. Darcy received a letter.
In the preceding week he’d visited the Gardiners twice more, once calling in the morning with Bingley, and once dining with them.
He needed to write a letter to Elizabeth, but every time he sat down before his desk, he could not decide the proper words to begin with. If it was merely an unpleasant task, he would not have allowed himself to be so dilatory. But his honest confusion and fear of making the matter worse kept him thinking.
The letter of this morning, however, showed that Elizabeth had anticipated him, having sent him her own letter, which Darcy had simply not imagined she would do.
Rather than writingDear Fitzwilliam,orDear Darcy, orDear Husband,or evenDespised Husband, Elizabeth had conveniently forgotten, no doubt by policy, to place a salutation at the top of the letter. There was space for it, but nothing written.
The news of at least one part of yourbusinessin London has been conveyed to me by my family. Though I know that you spoke to Mr. Bingley out of a sense of duty, and your determination to do right, I deeply appreciate the honor that you have shown my family, and the kindness that you showed my sister.
I hope to have a chance to show you a similar kindness, and I greatly look forward to the next time we are in the same location, and when we will be able toconversespeak again.
It made me very happy to hear that you called upon myuncle and aunt Gardiner. I hope very much that you liked them, but even if you did not, I am grateful for the condescension and the mark of respect.
As my sister’s wedding is in only a month, I would like to travel to see her, and take part in the joyous occasion. Might Georgiana and I travel to London to meet you? Do you intend to be present at the wedding? Georgiana has expressed an interest in seeing Meryton and meeting my family, though I am not sure if it is wise for her to enter the same country that Mr. Wickham is still resident in.
We have spoken at length about him, and it is my opinion that she is no longer in any danger from him, but this is not a matter upon which I am confident. Further, it is a decision that it is your duty to make. A letter from my father — which to be frank rather concerned me — has informed me that Mr. Wickham is a general favorite amongst the households in the neighborhood, and that he is welcome as a matter of course at the entertainments held around.
I have counseled my father to keep my younger sisters as far as possible out of his circle, hinting that I had learned enough information about Mr. Wickham’s character from people in this neighborhood to make me concerned. But as we cannot reveal the particulars of the situation, I am afraid that it is impossible for my father to destroy Wickham's credit in the neighborhood. If Georgiana is present in the environs of Meryton for any duration, she will either meet with Mr. Wickham, or it will be obvious to everyone that a strong effort has been made to keep her from his proximity.
But on consideration, that would not lead to any unpleasant rumors aboutGeorgiana— the well-known dislike you hold for him is sufficient to explain why you would refuse to allow your sister to attend any event where he would be present. If you make a specific effort to keep your sister fromhim, it will show that you have a concern for how he behaves with young females, without saying anything about your sister in particular. This might put the other families in the neighborhood on their guard.
Yet, I still fear that Wickham would conspire to make matters uncomfortable for Georgiana. As Georgiana has become dear to me, I do hope that you will permit me to at least introduce her to all my sisters, even if it must occur in London. I have a little hope that Georgiana’s more refined nature might have a positive influence on Lydia and Kitty, while the outgoing habits of my two youngest sisters may be of use as an example to Georgiana. As for Mary, I fear thatshewill be terribly jealous of Georgiana’s superiority at the piano, but perhaps that will be offset when she notes your sister’s severely inferior stock of quotations from sermons and improving books.
Oh, but I have written at too much length upon this. I do not know what to say on other matters, except I have read your letter to me many, many times, and that I do appreciate that you spoke to Mr. Bingley, and that I do wish to see you again, and I would hope soon. I hope that I have not earned your implacable resentment, but I sometimes fear that I have — why else would you send no further letter? But then I consider that I have sent no letter in response to the one you sent me the day you left Pemberley.
I think that makes it my duty to take the next step in our correspondence and conversation, and so, flawed as this offering is, it is my letter.
Please reply quickly about the matters around my sister’s wedding, and whether I should meet you in London.
We hope to see you again soon.
Your wife,
E Darcy
That was not a confession of love.
But… he had at least made Elizabeth happy.
No, Darcy looked through the letter again. He had in fact made hervery happy.
That made Darcy happy, yet he wanted everything from her, he loved her.
And she’d been waiting for a letter from him, a letter he never sent.
All this time he’d been thinking of her, and yet, he’d been thinking about his own perspective. This failure to write to her had once more illustrated his selfish disdain for the feelings of others.
She wanted to see him.
