Chapter Twenty-One
He couldn’t stop looking at her. He didn’t want to.
When he had ridden north, fast as he could manage, toseeElizabeth again, Darcy had hope in his heart.
Everything about her behavior since she’d surprised him in the stable, soaked and filthy and in his shirtsleeves, had been promising.
But… he had learned to not trust his own interpretation of her features and expression.
As they talked with Georgiana, their eyes met again and again, and she looked for something in his gaze, just as his eyes searched hers.
It warmed Darcy’s heart each time he saw how close Elizabeth and Georgiana had become.
They truly were friends, with none of that usual shyness and reserve that he saw in Georgiana around most people, even sometimes around himself. She was smiling, laughing, and happy.
However, slowly Elizabeth became quieter, her glances at him more meaningful, and what she said was more awkward. Darcy wanted to simplyspeakwith Elizabeth.
What conversation they kept up, about meaningless topics, was, he thought, mostly for Georgiana’s benefit. And his determination to keep this façade was running thin.
Georgiana recognized something of this, since earlier than necessary she stood, and said, “I do believe that I will withdraw to dress for dinner.”
Darcy nodded.
Suddenly he was alone with Elizabeth. His heart beat faster.
She said to him, “Let’s go up to dress also.”
His mouth was dry.
They walked up the stairs, awkwardly, half intentionally bumping each other as they went.
Elizabeth first entered through the door to the joint sitting room, and she stepped across to open the door to her dressing room. Her voice clearly sounded out, “Mary, you may go.”
“Yes, madam.”
Darcy did not see Elizabeth’s lady’s maid, since she left by the other door, but he heard the doors shutting, and heknewthey were alone.
He did not think his heart had beat this hard on their wedding night.
She turned to him with a glowing smile that made his heart skip several beats. The weak sun that peeked through the curtains lit her hair into a golden crown. She dimpled.
“I had not realized how much I missed you. I am glad you are back,” she said as she approached him.
Darcy swallowed. “I do not deserve your… anything.”
She smiled more widely at him and took his hand into hers. “I missed you.”
“You must let me beg you to forgive me” — she caressed his hand as he spoke — “I never, never, never should have kissed you that night. I did not mean to force you into anything. And I ought to have treated you with more respect. I have been a man who thought little of the feelings of others. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I beg for it.”
“I forgive you.” Her eyes glowed.
“There has not been a day, I think not an hour, that has gone by when I did not think of you. Elizabeth, I cannot say how much I admire you. I am glad… glad you are my wife. And I do not deserve—”
She came closer to him, stood on her toes, and she kissed him.
Her hand wrapped itself around the back of his neck, and her sweet taste filled him.
It was like a dream, but a dream that he had not dared to imagine. He kissed her back desperately.
