“We buy them fresh from a stall famed for it in Leadenhall. The advantage of the city.” Mrs. Gardiner paused. “It is said that the countryside is more healthful, more natural, and more virtuous than the city. Yet the city has many advantages, such as truly excellent tea biscuits. That is a key tohuman happiness. To look at the situation one finds oneself in, and—”
“I will not. You are right that it is a matter of my pride. And of course Ididmarry him. And I did not and do not love him. And everyone will look at me with a rightful disdain. But I care not.Mypride. He has pride, as well, and we’ll be matched in that. I said to Papa I would not spend more than fifty a year on my clothing, and I will not.”
Mrs. Gardiner poured more steaming tea from the flowered pot into her cup, dropped a square of sugar in. “Before now I had always liked to hope that my children would always keep the thought of me deep in their hearts, even once they had married.”
Elizabeth laughed. “I still am determined, even if by doing this I give my father and his words more concern than they deserve.”
“And did you — tell me of Mr. Darcy and your marriage to him. He is a Darcy, and an honorable man, I think—”
“I do not believe he is in fact honorable. His father’s godson, Mr. Wickham, told me that he refused to give him a living that was promised by his father.”
Mrs. Gardiner frowned, and then shrugged. “A powerful man is likely to gain some enemies. We should chiefly judge Mr. Darcy upon the actions we have directly observed. He was honorable enough to marry you despite the difference of fortune.”
“They saw him kissing me! What choice did he have?”
“To refuse. Your father would not have challenged him to a duel. And even if Mr. Bennet had pressed the matter in such a way, nothing would haveforcedMr. Darcy to make an offer of marriage.”
“He had his motives…” Mrs. Gardiner raised her eyebrow. Elizabeth flushed. It was very clear to her now that Darcystrongly desired her, and that would have been an additional motivation, besides the demands of honor, to carry through with the marriage. “Mr. Wickham gave every particular — persons, names, even the year in which such things happened. Mr. Darcy, he would not say anything, no matter how I importuned him.” Elizabeth stared at the blue flowers on her Wedgewood teacup. “We were arguing upon the matter when he kissed me.”
“Oh, ho.” Mrs. Gardiner put her teacup down. “That was not in your letter.”
“I wanted to make him explain… or maybe… I don’t know. I was not wholly sober. I cannot speak for the reasoning that caused us to argue about Wickham once more, and then retreat to the library to discuss the matter at greater length. He absolutely refused to explain. He only said that Wickham had received all he deserved and then more.”
“Perhaps it is because my memory of the reputation of the Darcy family blinds me, but from all you have said, I am inclined to assume he had a good reason for everything he did.”
“Fromthat?” Elizabeth replied laughing. “How?”
“Would you explain that you ordered so few dresses chiefly to spite your father in response to the question of someone who was not a dear acquaintance?”
“No…” Elizabeth felt uncomfortable. She wouldn’t explain it to most of her dear acquaintances either. Her aunt’s point was… a good one. “But we are now married, and he still has explained nothing of his behavior with Mr. Wickham.”
“You wishedthatto be the chief component of your wedding night?”
Elizabeth’s face went very red.
The way she’d been so scared when she tapped on the door. The way he had squeezed her against his body. His seeking hungry lips. How he’d tasted her neck. The way that he’d moaned her name,Lizzy, Lizzy, Lizzy.
“You liked the wedding night then.” Mrs. Gardiner exhaled in relief. “I was worried.”
“Fromthatyou derive that I—”
“A blushing bride. Quite embarrassed by the events of the past day, butnotdispleased.”
Elizabeth grinned. “It was certainly notunpleasant. Well except for the first bit. There was some unpleasantnessthere. But beyond that… he fell asleep next to me.”
“Good.”
Elizabeth blushed and looked down, deeply embarrassed. She asked the lines of the grain in the wooden table, “Do you and Mr. Gardiner sleep together?”
“Usually.” Mrs. Gardiner smiled. “I think it is good when a couple does.”
“It was so strange. So…” Elizabeth could not look up. She twisted the teaspoon around her fingers. “He is very handsome.”
“I hope to meet him.”
“I will insist he calls on you.” Elizabeth growled. “I do not care if the scent of tradesmen makes him vomit, you are dear to me. So very dear. I will not—”
“Lizzy. Focus on that which you can control, and that which is good. If Mr. Darcy will not call on us, you should accept that and not use it as a reason to become angry.”
