“You may very well imagine whatever you want.”
“Yes, well. Well. I do have an excellent imagination, so perhaps you should not be so generous in your permissions. Bethat as it may — this is rather early for unhappiness in paradise. Newlyweds. It is not proper to hate each other until… well at least six months. Most of the happiest persons in the world from my circles waited more than a year before they began to despise each other.”
“You mean to say that you, in fact, had no purpose in approaching me,” Darcy replied.
“Thought I’d offer you some sage advice as an old married man. Happy even. We still like each other, and we’ve been married for eight years, have three children, and have not murdered each other more than three times.”
“If you had once murdered each other you would not be here.”
“It was a joke, coz.” Hartwood’s eyes sparkled. “A humorous reference to the inevitability of argument. Any case, what was the subject? Maybe I can offer advice.”
“I only offered her well-meant advice.”
Hartwood winced. “No. No, you must never dothat.”
“Why is that—”
“Never offer a woman any advice. Never. They do not want it. If they say they do, discover what they hoped to do before they spoke to you, and tell them to simply do that. If it is a matter which they actually need aid in accomplishing, do it yourself, or claim you have an urgent matter of business a great distance away, and that you will certainly discuss the matter at length as soon as you have returned after a six-month. Offering advice to a woman? No, no, no!”
“Old, wise, and long married though you may be, none ofthatsounds like a sound policy for happiness in marriage.”
Hartwood shook his head in despair. “The young and green do not understand until their hand has been burned more than twice. But tell me, perhaps I am wrong. After all, she was clearly delighted by the advice you gave her. Sound policy. Whatprecisely did you speak of?”
Darcy didnotwant to be a man who talked to everyone about the difficulties he had with his wife.
He did not even wish to be a man who talked about those difficulties to his closest friends or relations, which Hartwood qualified as. In the end it was only because the subject affected his family as well as himself that Darcy decided to explain the matter to Hartwood. Darcy gestured them over to the corner of the room opposite from where Elizabeth still stood. Elizabeth had been joined by Georgiana, and the two spoke together quietly.
Seeing his sister’s growing attachment to Elizabeth still made him feel warm, and it caused much of his annoyance with his wife to melt away.
“Lady Matlock is concerned that Elizabeth has not purchased enough proper clothes, and that she is determined to not buy more, as though she was married to some poor gentleman barely keeping up their state.”
“And?”
“I told Elizabeth that she ought to purchase enough dresses to match what is ordinary in our circles.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And you then added that it was of no importance toyouwhat she did about this, and that it did not matter, and that you fully agreed that it was wholly her decision how she dresses herself, but that maybe, if she was feeling particularly kind towards her, she might consider my mother’s suggestions, or not, as she will.”
Darcy stared at his cousin as though he had grown a third eye. “But I alsowishforher to dress appropriately for her station.”
“And this is why it is useless, though not dangerous, togive advice to a man such as you…” Hartwood drew himself up and studied the way Darcy was glaring at him. “Maybe a little dangerous.”
“Don’tyouwish for Elizabeth to dress in a manner that will make her a credit to our family?”
“Ido not care, and I do not see why I should. Even Susan doesn’t care terribly much, she chiefly wishes to convince Mrs. Darcy to persuade you to add shoulder pads to all your coats, and to start wearing gold thread embroidered into your waistcoats.”
“I won’t.”
“Not even if Mrs. Darcy said to you, ‘but don’t you think you would impress all your tenants, and make everyone ever so much happier if you just dressed as youought?’”
Darcy grimaced. “I understand the argument you are attempting to press, but the situations are wholly different. I am dressing as appropriate to my place in life — if I wished to… wander about Pemberley in the clothes of a simple farmhand it would be… then she would be right to advise me.”
“Yes, yes. Let’s take that hypothetical. Suppose you decided to dress as a farmhand on the basis of some consideration that strongly motivated you — whether it was an intelligent motivation or not — would you appreciate being told by all and sundry that you must dressproperly?”
“I hope I would not become offended if Elizabeth suggested that the servants and neighbors were talking.”
