Elizabeth nodded.
“Is it always like that?”
It was only possible for Elizabeth to shrug.
The loss of a husband’s touch was by no means the smallest (though by no means the largest) loss that she had received from Wickham’s abandonment. Yet, the fact that he had shared the embrace with so many other women while married to her marred the memory.
For her their joining had been holy, sacred, a sacrament—a lascivious and pleasure filled sacrament.
When she found out, he insisted thatshehad always been the one who heloved, and who he had chosen to marry—for nothing, a point that he bitterly threw at her, after she bitterly threw at him the waste of his money. He never tried to explain to her of what the intimacies could possibly mean to him when he enthusiastically craved sharing that embrace with many different women.
“You were married,” Georgiana said. “Youdid not sin.”
Elizabeth squeezed Georgiana’s hand.
“And then my brother appeared…everything was terrible. And it has all been my fault, and I do not know what to do. I still have a right to try to help others, even if I am a sinner. Mary Magdalene washed Jesus’ feet. I shall find some way to…serve.” She paused and then added, “Even though I must be excluded from all good company forever.”
There was once again something in how Georgiana said that which made Elizabeth suspect that the young woman viewed being excluded from all good company as more in the nature of the one good thing to come from the whole situation than an awful loss.
“I do not tell you to not blame yourself,” Elizabeth said. “Merely to note that much blame must go to your education, and especially to Mrs. Younge. And Mr. Wickham. But chiefly Mrs. Younge; it was her solemn duty to protect you from such things.”
In a quiet voice Mr. Darcy suddenly spoke. “And a great deal of blame must go to your brother who made the mistake of hiring Mrs. Younge.”
Georgiana half jumped. “You are awake! Have you been for long?”
But before Darcy made any answer, George started running back and forth around the room, and Elizabeth had to put Emily down to curl up asleep in the chair, so that she could prevent her son from waving the iron poker about like a sword.
Naturally, Elizabeth was delighted when Colonel Fitzwilliam returned with two manservants, a cook, and three maids, one of whom had experience enough to serve in the role of a housekeeper for this small of an establishment.
Elizabeth did take Mrs. Brown aside to explain that Sally was a sweet girl, needed constant instruction and a great deal of experience, but that she was still a sweet girl, and to say that when someone was needed to look after the children, it should likely be Sally.
Once the new servants settled in, the house quickly began to run quite smoothly.
The room was cleaned, with no effort on Elizabeth’s own part. Tea with fresh crackers and properly prepared leaf was brought in. The broth for Mr. Darcy had a smell that madeElizabeth’smouth water. When she stepped into the kitchen, the cook chased her out, saying that everything was under management.
Poor Sally was busy scrubbing the counters, but she gave Elizabeth a friendly smile, and Elizabeth returned it.
Elizabeth just had a quick conversation with the cook, to ensure that there would be milk available and the fire kept up so it could be warmed without difficulty when it came time to change the poultice overnight. She added instructions about not letting the bone broth for Mr. Darcy get too rich, and then Elizabeth agreed with the cook that everything was, in fact, under excellent management.
Elizabeth had not experienced such a thing since she left Longbourn.
Even when she and Mr. Wickham had money, they had not ever tried to keep the large establishment that an estate of two thousand a year could support. They only had kept two female servants, and Elizabeth often needed to help in the kitchen or with serving when they had many guests.
That made it easier for her when there were no servants at all.
When she first married Wickham, Elizabeth had done that work with joy in her heart: She had married the man she loved. They were both exceeding young, and when he established himself in his career these difficulties would disappear. Also, Elizabeth always knew that even when her husbandhadfully established himself, his position would never be so great as that of her father.
Marrying a gentleman with the large lands and substantial income of her father had not been her aim.
As a child, Elizabeth often ran about with the children of the servants, far more than Jane or Mary. Perhaps the memory of her childhood companions helped her settle her spirit when she realized that she would not be able to live as a gentlewoman was expected to.
The afternoon passed pleasantly.
Mr. Darcy engaged George in faux serious conversations, and Elizabeth liked to watch that. For her own part, after changing Mr. Darcy’s bandage once more, Elizabeth went upstairs to nap with Emily.
The room was unpleasantly hot, but the sea breezes through the open windows relieved the oppression somewhat. Elizabeth found that despite her fatigue, she could not sleep at all for worrying.
At times she tried to tell herself that she had every right to be a burden still on her parents. After all, she had received nothing of her portion of her mother’s fortune. The income from a thousand pounds was a great deal of money. After the difficulties she had lived through since Mr. Wickham had left her, she had nothing but disdain for the attitude that thought that was nothing. With forty pounds a year, one could rent a tiny house, afford food and clothes for two growing children, and even hire a girl for half days to help with cleaning once or twice a week.
