“I will not act selfishly. This is necessary to redeem my family honor. I am acting as my duty demands.”
“A strange sort of duty that no oneelsethinks you have.”
“That others do not see the necessity of my doing such a thing does not changemysense of my duty.”
“I only wonder if you would see this as your duty if Mrs. Wickham was not such a lovely and charming woman?”
“I assure you, that my duty does not depend upon her person. I will admit, ifherworth, if her strength of character was not so—if I did not think that she deserves every happiness in the world, a reward for her sufferings and her virtues, perhaps then it would not be so obvious where my duty lies. But her characterissuch as it is.”
“Ah, you mean to say that you marry her because she has an excellentcharacter.”
“Yes. And because it is my duty. A duty that supersedes my duty to marry well.” Darcy leaned his head back to stare at the way that the reflection of the candlelight danced on the wood paneling of the ceiling. “Can you be clear on the point that you wish to make?”
Colonel Fitzwilliam was silent for a while. Then he said slowly, “I only wished to convince myself that you would be happy. I think you shall be, but I also suspect you only half understand yourself. But when hasthatever mattered? Socrates never said anything less true than when he said that the unexamined life is not worth living.”
Chapter Fourteen
Elizabeth woke up the next morning with George flopped over her stomach while Emily still slept in the crook of her arm.
She needed to use the chamber pot.
Quiet, peaceful, and she did not want to move. She smiled as she listened to the slow breathing of her children.
Had she really agreed to marry Mr. Darcy yesterday?
The heavy weight of George on her chest made it impossible for Elizabeth to panic.
Obviously, she had planned to never marry again. Trusting herself to another man was impossible.
Yet…she trusted Mr. Darcy.
Darcy was trustworthy.
And having a father would be good for George. She had already seen the benefits of Darcy’s influence on the young boy in the weeks since they had lived here.
She tried to feel calm, warm, and not scared at all.
And then was she kneed in the side and shaken wildly.
“Mama! Mama! Are you really marrying Mr. Darcy?”
“Yes, dear, I am going to marry Darcy,” Elizabeth replied to George with a smile. “Do let me get up.”
George held her cheeks between his hands and excitedly shouted, “I’m gonna have a papa. I’m gonna have a papa!”
Sick pit her in her stomach. Spasm in her chest.
What if she trusted Darcy? Completely. What if she forgot to fear being abandoned, and then one day he was simply not there? Like Wickham.
Elizabeth stood.
Why hadn’t she simply said ‘no’?
George bounced, grinned, smiled, and hopped down the stairs. Elizabeth made him hold the banister so he did not tumble all the way down.
Colonel Fitzwilliam was already wholly awake and dressed, and John was shaving Mr. Darcy when Elizabeth entered the drawing room.
George immediately hopped over to Darcy, who invited him to sit on his lap while the valet finished his work. This made Elizabeth more than a little anxious, but the young boy, oddly, was for once perfectly still.
