Papa studied her. She again had that sense that he was hiding a smile. “And you are determined to marry him.”
“I am.”
Papa tapped his fingers on the ground next to him. “Well. Well. Well.”
“Just say what you are thinking.”
“I suppose I ought. No, I certainly ought. Have you considered the possibility that the Lady doth protest too much?”
“What do you mean?”
“You speak in a highly appreciative way of Mr. Darcy. It certainly was not his wealth that you dwelt on in describing him, but rather his good character, his ability to endure under pain, his kindness to your child, and the pleasure you find in his conversation.”
“Is that not all to the good? Are those not features that a person hopes to see in someone they mean to marry?”
“Yes, I might even go so far as to say that a lover could hardly be more delighted in describing the virtues of her partner.”
Elizabeth blinked at Papa.
He raised his eyebrows in that annoying satirical way.
She had missed Papa. And her pride had made a fool of her by keeping her from seeking his help, and his counsel for these past years.
“I am certainly not in love with him,” Elizabeth replied. “You recall, I have been in love before. I do not have those flutters of delight every time he says something inane in my praise.”
“From what I saw of his manner, I suspect that when Mr. Darcy praises you, it is not inane.”
Elizabeth flushed. He did praise her frequently, and she did like that.
“I am wholly capable of sitting with him for an hour,” Elizabeth said, “while talking about practical subjects, or books. And we have not once engaged in a fierce disagreement about which one of us loves the other the most.”
“Is that what your home life with Mr. Wickham was like?”
“At times,” Elizabeth sighed. “But Papa, I assure you, I am not in love with him.”
“As proven by your willingness to marry him,” Papa agreed cheerfully. “Youwould never marry anyone who you actually admired.”
“No, no, no.” Elizabeth replied. “Admiration is a word that is composed of multiple meanings. IadmireDarcy a great deal. But I do not havethatfeeling towards him which convinced me to elope with Wickham.”
“Though you would have happily enough eloped with Mr. Darcy.”
“Papa, what do you hope to do? Are you seeking to convince me that I shall make a mistake due to my passions? I have considered that possibility. But when I examine my soul, I find a great deal of belief in Mr. Darcy, a great deal to admire in him—I think I know him well, and he me. My admiration is based on facts that I have seen and heard of his behavior.”
“Ah, yes,” Papa replied. “No one could ever love a person based on what they havedone, only what they imagine that they shall do.”
“And yes,” Elizabeth continued, half ignoring what Papa had said, “a man may change. Though not always for the worse—Inever imagined that you would tell me that you had saved money at the rate of five or six hundred a year—Mr. Darcy’s virtues are not so fragile that I ought to expect them to disappear tomorrow. That I like him so much terrifies me, but ultimately, this world is filled with doubt, confusion, and uncertainty. One must choose. I have given this serious thought, and I shall marry Mr. Darcy, even though it is possible that I am making a mistake. You shall not convince me to be changeable by trying to convince me that I am once more a stupid girl in love.”
“Well,” Papa said after pausing for some time. “Well. At least you do notlovehim. There is that.”
Elizabeth rather thought there was something wholly ironical in Papa’s tone. “Exactly. If I did,thenI would not trust myself.”
Papa sighed, he laughed a little, and then he shrugged and pushed himself to stand. As Papa brushed the sand off his pants, he said, “If you would be happy to have me sign your documents, I will happily do so—after reading them carefully, of course. As a responsible father must. I suppose that if he marries you out of duty, and because he shot your husband, which I am sure ishissole motivation—”
“He also likes George,” Elizabeth reminded him.
Papa looked at her in that ironical way. “Yes, his sole motivation, besides affection for your son. In any case, he can hardly expect me to provide a dowry under such circumstances. I shall place what money I have collected into the dowries of your sisters. And I shall need to continue the habits of economy, for their sake. Oh, well. But before I decide whether to give Mr. Darcy thatblessinghe asked for, I must speak with him in private myself.”
Chapter Seventeen
