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She wanted to hear him moan her name again, watch his eyes darken. She wanted to run and hide and make certain she never let herself become so vulnerable to him ever again.
And it was breaking her heart. Walking away, turning her back on the only man her young heart had ever raced to was killing her. It hurt physically. It made her stomach cramp. It made her heart feel like a raw, aching wound.
She wanted to hide. She wanted to hide and nurse the pain and the fear. She was terrified.
Terrified of the things she knew Dawg could make her feel and terrified of the knowledge that she would do anything, commit any act he asked of her, for just one more chance to take another hot, mind-numbing kiss from his perfect lips.
She would become no more than one of a long line of Nauti playthings, and that would destroy her. She could never share him with another woman, and on the same coin, she could not have survived, emotionally, being shared.
As she moved quickly along the floating dock and over the bridge that stretched to the shore, the sound of a motorcycle moving into the parking lot beyond had her heart racing with dread.
She hadn’t just destroyed her own dreams but perhaps a friendship as well. Dawg and her brother were close friends. When the Mackay cousins weren’t busy sharing their women, Alex had invariably been in their company until he joined the military. And even now, when he returned home on leave, he spent a lot of time with Dawg and the other Mackay cousins.
This could destroy that friendship, and Alex didn’t have many friends.
The implications of the past night were racing through her soul with a power that had sobs tearing from her chest. She reached the car she had borrowed at the same time her brother pulled up to the vehicle on his motorcycle.
The powerful throb of the motor eased, then went silent as Alex extended one long leg, bracing his foot on the pavement as the other propped on the foot pedal on the other side.
He wiped his hand over his face slowly before staring out at the houseboats for a long, silent moment. This was her older brother; he had all but raised her. Her parents rarely had time for anyone but the store and themselves and whatever scheme her father had for making more money. It had left Alex with the responsibility of raising the daughter they never seemed to know what to do with.
And now he had to face the fact that his sister had obviously just had sex with not just his best friend but a sexual legend in the county. And Dawg wasn’t even twenty-five yet.
She stood still, silent, unable to stop crying as he stared back at her silently. His gray eyes were heavy with sadness, his regal, handsome face drawn into a weary expression.
“Did you tell him no?” he finally asked her gently.
She shook her head. She hadn’t even thought to tell him no.
He turned his head, staring toward Dawg’s houseboat in resignation. She could see his anger in the tight, controlled line of his lips, in the flash of dark emotion in his eyes.
His jaw bunched with it as the lean muscles in his shoulders and arms flexed warningly.
“Did you want to tell him no?”
She shook her head again, shaking beneath the knowledge in his eyes.
She couldn’t have told Dawg no if her life had depended on it. Each touch, each kiss had been a fantasy come to life.
He nodded slowly. “Let’s go home then. We can talk about it there. No sense in making things worse by lingering out here long enough for anyone to see you. If you want to keep this quiet, you’re going to have to pretend it didn’t happen. ” His gaze sharpened then. “Do you want to keep it quiet, Crista?”
“Yes. ” She bit her trembling lips as she swiped at her tears. “Oh God, Alex. I just want to get out of here. ”
“Do you have your keys?”
She dug them out of the pocket of her shorts and quickly unlocked the door before jerking it open.
“Crista. ” His voice, despite its gentleness, resonated with a dark, hidden fury. “Was he alone?”
Her hand gripped the doorframe as she met his gaze. “It was just Dawg and me, Alex. I swear. ”
This time. She knew if it happened again, if she dared to let it ever repeat, then it wouldn’t be just Dawg.
And when that happened, Dawg would make an enemy of her brother for life.
“Let’s go home, Crista. ” He breathed out roughly. “I’ll follow you. ”
As they pulled from the driveway, she couldn’t help the sob that tore from her chest again or the fear that rolled through her.
