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She did not like the air of command in his voice. It was that military background, she knew. He just popped out orders like they were his to give.
“Don’t tell me what isn’t going to go on, Alex. ” She moved her arm and sat up with a frown, tugging her leather skirt back into place.
“You can’t run both dining rooms without larger staff. And you can’t go until midnight or after and still manage to get any rest for the next day. ”
“I was doing fine until you ended up in my bed,” she muttered. “You keep me up all night. ”
He grunted at that. “Want me to stop fucking you?”
She pursed her lips and sat back against the couch, considering that option.
She finally shrugged. “You wouldn’t. ”
Not that she had a problem with it, but it seemed Alex was damned determined to be a “daddy,” no matter what. She was just having more trouble figuring why, and why her. Any single woman in the county would have spread her legs for him gladly.
Not that she didn’t do it gladly.
She was making herself crazy. Janey pushed from the couch, ignoring his brooding look before moving to the bathroom to finish cleaning up. Of course, she didn’t have extra panties in her office. They were now at his house.
She needed a general manager. But she needed Natches to sign off on it. She couldn’t do it without his cooperation. And he wasn’t giving it.
Okay, so it would help if she would just tell him she wasn’t leaving. She braced her hands on the sink and
stared at her own reflection. She was honest with herself at least; she wasn’t leaving. Alex would follow her, and no doubt, the danger would follow her as well.
But she hesitated to tell Natches she wasn’t leaving, because even now she sensed a reluctance in her brother. Perhaps a lingering fear that she was like Dayle? Sometimes she caught a look in his eyes, as though he were assessing her, watching her, for something. And she was terrified he was watching for signs that she truly was the daughter Dayle had everyone convinced she was. Or maybe he was truly so worried she would leave? But that didn’t make sense, because she had never been a part of his life anyway.
Behind the closed bathroom door she wiped her tears away at the thought of that. Because she realized that she didn’t know how to be a sister either. And catching on to the intricacies of being a lover to a man like Alex was more complicated than she had anticipated.
At least the restaurant was thriving enough so that maybe one day she could put other plans in place.
Some days, she dreamed of a lunch crowd, a seven-day-a-week open door on the restaurant. It wasn’t just the money; it was the vision. It was the ability to do all the things she had once believed the restaurant was capable of. Of making it a thriving, popular venture.
She washed her face and sighed wearily at the dream that might never be. She had the chef. She had staff. She had a full house every night. Should she ask for more? Should she ask for love and laughter on top of that?
She let her hand touch her stomach. She didn’t feel pregnant. She didn’t feel different. She felt like a lover, not a woman confident in her man’s love. She was confident in Alex’s commitment to her. She knew he’d stand by his promises no matter what. But she wanted more from him.
She owned him, she reminded herself, because he had made the conscious decision to belong to her and that she would belong to him.
But she loved him. Loved him until he filled parts of her that she hadn’t known actually existed. Parts of herself that still ached in lonely pain, not because they were empty, but because she still felt that aching void. That lack of not just loving but being loved.
Was she asking for too much? God. She had Alex. He had promised her, and Alex didn’t break promises. He’d given himself to her; did she have the right to ask for more, especially in light of the fact that she loved him until she felt as though her heart were breaking with it?
The questions tumbled through her mind, one after the other, always the same, until she felt as though she would lose her mind if she stood there contemplating them much longer.
Breathing in deeply, she smoothed a final tear from her face, a lone droplet of moisture that lingered on her cheek. She had more than she had ever thought she would have. For now, for tonight, she was going to have to let the rest of it be, because there were no answers, not yet, and she knew it.
Teach me how to love, Janey. The words whispered through her mind. Alex’s words. She bit her lip, remembering then just exactly how much he had pledged to her.
Teach me how to love.
Could he love her? One thing was for sure—until they could both sleep without fear of bombs, it was a question that neither of them was going to be able to answer.
Until Alex was confident she was safe, he wouldn’t let his mind be distracted from her protection to consider any emotions he might possibly feel for her. That meant the stalker would have to be identified and caught. She would have to face, eventually, whoever wanted her dead.
Someone wanted her dead.
Pretty much the story of her life, she decided, as she opened the bathroom door and returned to Alex.
